Oh What Should We Do With a Drunken Gator

Hailing from the swamplands of the American South, there are Gatormen sightings logged as far back as the 1700s. These 4 to 6 foot swamp creatures have the upper torso of a small human or monkey and the lower torso of an alligator complete with stubby legs and a tail. Covered in green scales from head to toe (or I guess in this case tail), they are rumored to be highly intelligent. Gathering in small tribes to hunt and communicating with a language of guttural noises.  On rare occasion they have even been mentioned to carry rudimentary weapons and tools. Generally harmless to human, they spend their days hunting snakes, turtles, fish  and what ever other swamply neighbors they can murder an devour. No where in their descriptions that I have found does it mention illegal moonshining… but we all know what happens in swamps… so go forth and let your imagination guide you.

 

Our Judge this week was Ryan Lodge, Wannabe Globe Trekker, Woodbooger Model, Founder of the Beasts in Cutoffs Society, All purpose Internet Tool and long time buddy. His word is law, but feel free to argue it in the comments below ; )

 

 

 

 

Judges Commentary i can't stop thinking about how long this gatorman had to squat there holding that string. then i wonder if he caught the turtle. the stubble-stash and nub teeth didn't hurt and is he holding a cigarette? Submitted by Sean

 

Ok well this one's got the adorable vote by a mile this week! I so want to know what's in the turtle trap to lure our tiny toed terrapin. And both of their expressions are (to borrow a now commercial phrase) priceless!

 

 

Judges Commentary i've been watching the boardwalk empire so i think it was the hat that got me. Submitted by Chris

 

A truly sophisticated Gator. Damn straight he is! There's so much more I want to know about this one... most notably a close up of the picture on the wall! Great snuck in prehensile tail and such a tiny tiny head!!

 

 

Judges Commentary i'm walking out the door to go hiking right now and i just hope i don't find one of these in the woods. very creepy, those eyes, those hands, those teeth... Submitted by Sneurat

 

Ha! Such interesting scale work. Imagine how nicely a narrated piece about elusive Gatormen and their natural habitat would go with this guy... I just wish i could remember the name of the guy behind my imagined voice...

 

 

 

Such a buff and obviously intelligent young Gatorman... And I knew i was gonna be in trouble the moment i typed "hunt turtles"... Regardless I love that this guy has a front tail and he does seem happy!

 

 

 

See this was going to be a pre-emptive strike for turtle kind... but now it's just late... I was also really torn about the motion lines... i mean should there be any? ...they do tend to signify speed... of which i assume, here, there would be none.

 

 

 

Ah! its the simple ones that get me... I mean what's so funny about a buccaneers jersey... I'm not sure but that combined with his remarkably straight appendages had me giggling for quite a few minutes... better watch that tail by the fan!

 

 

 

Why can't all pool tables be like this? I mean look at the dogged excitement in our gambling Gatorman's posture... That is a fantastic F'ing head. And tacky as it may be I think I'd be kind of happy with a PBR pool light.

 

 

 

Now is he sunning himself lazily in perhaps a Floridian Herpatarium? or is he stalking an easy prey, or are those beloved pets? So many questions! Great tail spikes. And how cool is it that he's reversible?

 

 

 

Man I love when they span two pieces of paper ; )! I think it totally understand how a half hominid half gator would be conflicted in his views. I mean is he racist or inspired? maybe a little of both... Love the kraken style double legs!

 

 

 

Yes! most haunting one I've seen in weeks... let me guess... the Gatorman he dreams, the Gatorman he wishes to be and finally the Gatorman he is! ...Or a humorous portrait of an increasingly transparent family.

 

 

 

This one's got my combobulator all mixed up! I don't know whether he's coming or going but he certainly means to get there! Huge fan of the accurate-sh vanishing point on the door, and a little welsey willis.

 

 

 

I don't know if it's a crazy Gatorman dance or a substantially animated "boy howdy" but I know I'm a fan! Great mustardy yellow, and it always cracks me up that the further you separate the eyes the less intelligent they look.

 

 

 

Born as a mutation amongst his species, man-gator was shunned as an outcast since he was young. Since then he has hunted on his own using his fan boat. Lucky for him The History Channel picked up a show starring him.

 

 

 

Yes!, I usually knock out all the extra goo in the tabletop photos but dammit if a Gatorman in a check didn't make me kinda happy! I mean look at the way he holds his martini and the confident manner in which he holds his tail!

 

 

 

I'm saying this one is a call to revolution against our reptillian overlords, their blue blooded puppets that carry out their wishes with a brief nod to the media and the whole in the crust north of Alaska leading to hollow earth!