The Melon Heads

Feral Children with Water and Murder on the Brain!

You know I have no idea why when i first heard of these guys, I thought it entirely made up, but a quick glance at my books and a cursory internet search brought back result after result… and to think my mom was calling me a horrendous beast all those times she was just trying to be jokingly sweet about my youthful bumblings!

The legend of the Melon Heads seems most prevalent in three states, Michigan, Ohio and Connecticut, each region has it’s own slightly unique lore as to where exactly these beasts came from but the general gist is as follows: There is an orphanage or insane asylum, there is either a fire or a bloody rebellion amongst the residents leaving all of the staff, and most of the inhabitants of said facility dead. The remaining few flee into the surrounding woods, or move into the basement of the wreckage or even better move into the caverns below the basement of said wreckage.

Some say the Melon Heads are just ghosts now, some assume a “Hills have Eyes” style breeding population, but what’s important to note is that the descriptions stay pretty true from story to story. What we have here is essentially pure hollywood mutant! Human shaped with giant bulbous heads, eyes out of whack from inbreeding or defect, bodies often covered in sores, teef that could most definitely use some attention and hearts that are most definitly too small to love (thanks craig). Trespassers and investigators beware as they protect their braniac looking clan ferociously, bursting from hiding and attacking and killing anything, man or beast, who has stumbled into their land and consuming them in what I would assume would be a very festive bonfire setting. So that’s it! Get your pastey giant head and boil colored crayons out and let’s see what you’ve got!

judgement Is Complete

our judgeOur Judge this week was Sean Wynne, engineer, woodworker, boat maker, whittler, farmer, baker of fine vegan goods and companion of my old work cohort and founder of the Seanism movement, Sarah (aka Sneurat). Sean, Sarah and crew were integral in gathering drawing troops in the early days and for that I thank them. Check out Square Nail Chicago, It’s not his shop, but I know he has some family ties to it and if you’ve got the dough, they have some remarkably cool goods.

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