The Squonk

I Got Me A Sack of Wrinkles Warts and Tears

Hailing from the Hemlock forests of northern Pennsylvania, the Squonk is a smallish quiet creature who’s skin seems to be three times too big for his body. Covered in wrinkles, warts and blemishes, the Squonk is painfully aware of his horrendous appearance and spends most of his time hiding and crying. If ever cornered the Squonk is said to have the ability to dissolve itself entirely into tears, making capture almost impossible (though I do think a modern day tupperware might help).

Squonks and their tears have crept there way into pop culture over the years, from Playstation games to novel nods. I’m even told Genesis has a song about a famed Squonk hunter who bagged his catch only to have the bag lighten mysteriously in transit and when inspected was left only holding tears and bubbles. Now’s your chance to add to this sad little guys legacy. Gather your thoughts and make me some freaking Squonks.

And as an aside I’ve got two wrinkle faced pups so I’m very aware of how cheesey an unmaintained skin wrinkle can be, so I expect to see me at least a stink line or two.

judgement Is Complete

A message from Kendra

our judgeOur Judge this week is Kendra Zager she worked a cube wall away from me at our previous employer. Where she somehow found a living posting to Facebook, tweeting, and writing Youtube titles. After that she started the social media-ness for Total College Sports and the ACC Digital Network.

Recently relocated to LA. Where she is pursuing her dream to become the female Ryan Seacrest fused with Howard Stern with the allure of Carmen Ellectra and the wit of Jenna Marbles. (that last part is all her though I can confirm she’s clever, cute and funny)

Oh yeah, she also wanted me to mention she accepts small gifts and compliments as bribes – @KendraZager
Now let’s show her some freaking Squonks!

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