The Thunderbird

America’s Giant Storm Bringing, Lightning Spewing and Occasionally Child Stealing Fowl

So first and foremost, 4th of July is right around the corner, and as if often the case with summer holidays, we’re taking a full two weeks to help you find the time. So be safe, enjoy a few small scale explosives, and don’t forget to draw!

Now on to the important business, there are two basic ways to imagine a thunderbird. The first being from the legends of numerous native tribes who describe a giant feathered deity who’s wings gather clouds into storms, who’s blinking eyes cause sheet lightning, wing flaps cause thunder and as it soars it would drop some of then many snakes it holds in it talons (I may have forgotten to mention the talons full of snakes) which transform into bolts of lightning as they fall. While ferocious sounding, this version of the thunderbird is more of an explanation of the earths natural cycles, rarely interacts at the personal level with peoples and is more often utilized as a portent of change in stories.

Now in sharp contrast, from the cryptozoologists perspective, the native thunderbird legends are based on giant prehistoric raptors whose fossil records are difficult to deny. These theories work from the angle that there may be some surviving relatives today. Too large to waste energy navigating near the ground, these mighty birds soar at the edges of the largest storms as the updrafts and shifting thermoclines keep them afloat with merely a flap for hundreds of miles. Only returning to earth to feed. And this of course explains the numerous sightings over the last century or so from Illinois to Hawaii, where mightly giant birds swoop down to steal pets, livestock and occasionally children on swingsets!

Now whether you choose to go with the toothy beaked totem topping native american weather bird or the mysteriously surviving prehistoric baby gobbling flying behemoth, (or maybe even some combo of the two) just remember to have fun with it. Winner still gets a shirt. Points will be given for hilarity, adorability, newness of artist, issued fits of terror, jean short and fern inclusion and hey it’s gonna be the 4th of july, maybe even throw in a “skyflower” or two… you get the point, oh and feel free to include your own caption if you want.

Here’s the bullet points for those who will never read the above:

  • Giant American bird
  • It’s wings gather storm clouds and flaps issue thunder
  • Shoots lightning from its eyes, mouth and also drops electric snakes from its talons
  • Alternative theory says they ride the storms for ease of transport
  • Brings about change, especially the kind that involves a giant raptor eating something you love and flying away

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