Madagascar’s Man Munching Monster Melon!
Here’s how this legend goes! Back in the 1800’s some German botanist goes to Madagascar to check out the foliage. He meets a tribe of seemingly friendly native peoples. They explain to him that if he’s into bananas plants, they’ve got one he should really see. So he agrees and travels deep, deep into the jungle, eventually they come across what looked to be a seriously giant pineapple… we’re talking 10 feet across. It’s crowned with a set of comically sized flat leaves or petals that drape down it’s sides with swaying, tentacle like appendages at it’s center.
The native guides grab a terrified youth from the back of their procession, and at spear point force her to climb up said giant bromilliad.
She stands at its center, pale and wide eyed for a moment while nothing happens. Suddenly, the tentacle like appendages seem to notice her presence, whip around her torso, clinging to her skin all while the giant leaves lift to close around the now panicking victim… there is squirming, there are noises, there are screams, there is an ever growing flow of blood gore and something akin to pussy sap flowing down between the bumps on the plants base. It’s a pretty brutal scene!
Whether it be some form of primitive blood thirst or a hallucinogenic frenzy caused by the plant, the natives dance and jump and scream and scramble to catch this foul dripping brew in bowls and what they cant catch in bowls, they literally lick of the side of the plant until they all collapse in some sort of sated bloody sap assisted slumber. At which point our botanist sneaks out, sends a letter back home describing said blood feast… and now we know!
here’s what you’re working with
- It’s Found in Madagascar, home of the “I like to Move it…” song
- It’s base looks like a giant Pineapple
- It’s got giant leaves or petals that can close back up around its victim
- Has tentacles or vines or something sway-y and clingy
- Turns people into potentially hallucinogenic goo
So there you go, Draw us a gooey pineapple, or a lemur tripping balls and your golden! Sharpen up that scribbler, and go to town. Cause I’m a man with too many beast shirts and a need to share them. You’ve got two weeks… (drawings due midnight the evening of 11/9)

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