Attacking Humans since 1934

The-Devil-Monkey-Post-Title

Our bigfooted bretheren get the lions share of NAPE coverage in today’s media (NAPE being North American Ape of course). But they are by no means the only monkey of legend in these parts. The Devil Monkey, has been reported as far north as Alaska and down to the American south. He is described as having the face of a monkey or even a doglike baboon with short pointy ears, long simian arms tipped with vicious claws and the lower torso of a kangaroo, allowing them to jump upwards of 20 feet per hop.

 

Rumored to be incredibly fierce, often attacking pets or being blamed for livestock disappearances or mutilations. on occasion these lil critters have been known to claw there way into houses or the much more accesible mobile versions of said houses.
 

While Nationwide reports are rampant The official Devil Monkey sighting account goes thusly and is stolen from here “In 1959, while a couple by the name of Boyd were driving through the mountains near their home in Saltville, Virginia, an ape-like beast attacked their car, leaving three scratch marks on the vehicle. The The Boyd’s daughter, Pauline, described the terrifying attacker:
 
“(It had) light, taffy colored hair, with a white blaze down its neck and underbelly… it stood on two, large well-muscled back legs and had shorter front legs or arms.”
 
Boyd went on to describe a second Devil Monkey encounter that occurred just days later in the same region: “Several days after this incident, two nurses from the Saltville area were driving home from work one morning and were attacked by an unknown creature who ripped the convertible top from their car.” Luckily the nurses — though surely frightened out of their wits — were unharmed.” read more »

Flying to the Bright Light of Doom!

The MothMan Post Title

So every culture seems to have a doomsayer of some sorts, in West Virginia, it’s a moth! Well I’ll give em credit, it’s not just any moth, it’s a man-sized moth with humanoid arms and legs and glowing red eyes, and if you watched the richard gere movie it’s almost capable of saying chapstick…but I still think it’s kinda funny that it’s a moth.

 

The story goes thusly: sometime in 1966 round the region of Point Pleasant West Virginia, folks started seeing something like a man strapped with 10 foot wings and red glowing eyes… first it was a few grave diggers, then a bunch of youths partying in the old TNT depot (gotta love West Virginia) who claimed the beast actually followed their car at speeds upwards of 100 mph as they tried to escape. From that point on, everyone was seeing him, firemen, contractors, farmers… all adding a bit to the description, giant reflective glowing eyes, tattered wings, claws… you name it if it was scary it got strapped to a moth and told as fact.

 

So after almost a full year of nearly nightly mothly visits, the town of Point Pleasant was devastated as the Silver Bridge collapsed sending 46 local people to their icey deaths, and from that day on the sightings stopped. Was the Mothman here to warn the people, was he a metaphysical creation of the combined precognition of an entire town? Or maybe just a space alien way into bridge collapses… read more »

Vermont’s Campground Terror

The Coonigator Post Title

Said to be a grotesque hybrid of a raccoon and an alligator the Coonigator or Raccoonigator has been the stuff of legend in rural Vermont for generations. Most commonly spotted diving in dumpsters or scavenging unkempt campsites around the Mount Pelier region of the state.

 

Upon first appearance they seem very raccoon-like what with their fuzzy round gray bodies and striped furry tales but observers who go in for a closer look are surprised by a terrifying reptilian maw jammed packed with the teeth of an alligator. My “Monster Spotter’s Handbook” claims they look a lot like the lil guys from “Critters” but most of the pics on the net I can find lean more towards a protruding snout, and if i know one thing it’s that the internet’s always right!

 

You know the routine, take it and run. I only ask that you remember the details that can make it fun: Teeny humanesque hands, bandit masks, a body that will look considerably smaller when wet, horrible smells, famed thievery and from the other side of the hybrid the tendency towards malicious lurking, explosive power and the potential for a bird friend or two for flossing those ice cream containers and syrup bottle shards from out of their overbit jaws!
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This One’s Gonna Be Huge!

The Nephilim Post Title

When it comes to good old school, slutty winged giants, you can’t get much better than your Nephilim. Sure there’s your Gogmagog, or your frost giants, but did Carl McCoy name his band after those lil guys? Not a chance. Said to be the spawn of fallen angels and human women, the Nephilim were giant in size and possessed super human strength (to give a bit of scale humans were said to feel the size of grasshoppers in their presence). Their Wickedness, vice and sexual promiscuity were supposedly some of the main reasons, the old man sent the great floods, and that should give you plenty of ammunition right there.

 

So let’s give em some size, let’s give em some wings, let’s give em some vice and there’s gotta be someone out there who enjoys drawing full length leather dusters just for fun!

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There’s a Tiny Green Cobbler in My Beer

the Leprechaun

We’ve had some pretty good luck with our festive holiday draws so trying again what with the Irishest of holiday’s just around the bend. The Leprechaun is one of the “little poeple” in Irish folklore. Tricky dwarf-life creatures, Generally appearing as little old men dressed in green and adorned with buckles and a high crowned hat. Cobblers by trade, they are also occasionally pictured wearing a leather apron or, you know, cobbling on a shoe.

 

Leprechauns are rumored to be wealthy beyond imagination, with crocks or pots of gold buried about the lands. While unable to move when your eyes are locked on them, the moment you blink they have the ability to vanish, never to be seen again. And for anyone who’s seen any of the Warwick Davis fronted series of movies, it would seem they are more than capable of murder, go-cart racing and space travel.

 

As an example of how they play the game, there is a long told tale of a farmer who forced a Leprechaun to show him the bush his gold was buried below by tying a red ribbon around the bush in question. When the farmer returned to the field with his shovel in hand, he found every bush in the field now sporting a festive red bow… to put it bluntly, leprechauns are kinda dicks! And as an added bonus this week, I’m going to try and do every picture caption in limerick form, so if nothing else draw to see me struggle with rhymes!
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The Great Tall Tailor Always Comes

The Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man

This week’s beast comes to us by way of German fairly tales (the creepiest kind if you ask me). I’m not going to add a whole lot this week as the tale pretty much give’s you what you need, but for the really attention impaired, he’s a tall red legged tailor who uses scissors to remove the thumbs of children who suck them…

 
In the book Struwwelpeter Heinrich Hoffmann’s The Story of Little Suck-a-Thumb Goes thusly:

 

The Story of Little Suck-a-Thumb

One day, Mamma said, “Conrad dear,
I must go out and leave you here.
But mind now, Conrad, what I say,
Don’t suck your thumb while I’m away.
The great tall tailor always comes
To little boys that suck their thumbs.
And ere they dream what he’s about
He takes his great sharp scissors
And cuts their thumbs clean off, – and then
You know, they never grow again.”

Mamma had scarcely turn’d her back,
The thumb was in, alack! alack!
The door flew open, in he ran,
The great, long, red-legged scissorman.
Oh! children, see! the tailor’s come
And caught our little Suck-a-Thumb.

Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go;
And Conrad cries out – Oh! Oh! Oh!
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast;
That both his thumbs are off at last.

Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;
“Ah!” said Mamma “I knew he’d come
To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb.”

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The Highlands Most Wanted

The Loch Ness Monster Title

So I’m going to guess most of you are pretty familiar with the Loch Ness Monster, the long disputed lake beast of the Scottish Highlands, but just in case here’s a real quick rundown: The first known reference to a water beast in the region appeared in writings from the 6th century and had the beast not in the loch but on the River Ness and his behavior was much more man eating giant water predator than lazy lake beast.
 

Jump a few centuries ahead and we encounter a series of sighting in the 1930s that tended to describe our hero as a combo of seal and plesiosaur dinosaur and more often than not lumbering across bits of land surrounding the loch. Right about that same time a series of photographs began to appear, the most famous being the “surgeon’s photograph” which has been featured in newspapers of the time and on at least 5 Discovery special I’ve seen and is most often explained away as a submerged elephant’s truck or a modified children’s toy. Regardless of the hoax claims around it, that photo has stirred imaginations and driven curious tourist to the area for decades.
 

Science has tried to explain him away as a sturgeon or giant otter or a log but still can’t find him, they’ve done full loch radar sweeps on at least 2 occasions, which to me says its more than possible he’s magical or coated in some sweet organic stealth technology. The loch opens to the sea, which to me says he’s more than capable of finding a food source outside of his poorly stocked leisurely swimming hole, so feel free to draw him anywhere (but please remember his Scottish roots). And keep in mind the base descriptors of aqualine, long necked, flipper footed and playful, but beyond that I leave the rest to you! Go forth and draw!

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What’s So Special About Wolves?

The WereBear

So I kinda figured there would be all sorts of Werebear legends across the interweb, and there are but none of them can agree… Some say it’s a norse legend, some say native american, Google images would have you believe it was a muscle bound well armed creation of the Skyrim universe and wikipedia just says it’s a trademarked line of Limey toys made for boys so they wouldn’t get bullied…

 

So we’re going with a real general description this week in hopes it triggers some fun… A Werebear is a lycanthrope of sorts who can transform into a bear… you know what bears look like, and there’s all sorts of bears to choose from… and you know what a man looks like (yes that’s an open invitation)… so just smash em together and see what happens! Anyways… go forth and draw.

 

And btw this week is officially our 1 year anniversary doing this nonsense so I’m judging this F’er! Make me proud kids!
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Shot To The Heart And…

Cupid The God of Desire, Affection and Erotic Love

So it’s Valentines Day this week, so what better way to celebrate the massacre of millions and millions of flowers, than to draw the kid who’s to blame! The Romans considered Cupid the the son of the goddess Venus, the Greeks called him Eros and art historians call him annoyingly omnipresent, ok well I made the last part up… But what we do know is anyone shot by this little guys arrow, be they human, beast or deity, is instantly filled with what we shall call uncontrollable desire.
 
Originally pictured as a slender winged humanesque youth, during the Hellenistic period he gained his signature blobular girth and overall a much more cherubic appearance. He’s usually pictured with a bow and a quiver of the previously mentioned arrows, but our little troublemaker obviously has the attention span of a gnat and is often seen sidetracked by playing darts, catching butterflies, flirting with Nymphs, tooting horns, being punished by his mother for his mischievous ways or something wikipedia is simply calling “adult play”. And I’m pretty sure that gives you enough ammo, so…
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