The Squat Egyptian Protector of All That is Good and Beardy

Bes is kind of unique in the world of ancient Egyptian mythology. Usually a canon so full of soul weighing and afterlife sorting, when you come across one who’s short, fat, and comical who’s main goal seems to be making unattended babies laugh, you almost feel like you’ve missed a page. But my books and wikipedia are still claiming he’s old world egyptian, so we’re going with it!

So there are several differing descriptions ranging from a lion reared up to a hirsute miniature egyptian sasquatch, but since we’ve just done the Abominable Snowman and this ain’t “Reared Up Lion Drawing Wars”, we’re going with the following:

Starting from the top we’ve got an awkwardly large plume of feathers poking from what could either be a lions mane or from what ive seen something akin to Dar’s hair in Beastmaster (seen a bunch of sculptures with head wraps too), add to that some awkward protruding ears, a squashed pug nose and the kind of beard that you could build a cabin in. Now finish it all off with an especially rotund dwarf sized body with lions tail (for some reason I cant discern, lots and lots of potrayals have him in some sort of bikini bottom so roll with it if you’d like ).

Now keep in mind he cant be so fat that he can’t dance as dancing’s what Bes’s do best, well that and lyre and tambourine playing… or demon chasing… or the previously mentioned unattended baby comedian… I mean mostly he’s like a short, hairy, egyptian Mary Poppins and i bet you don’t really need more than that!…

judgement Is Complete

our judgeIt was a pretty mellow holiday week so we let the Fan Favorite vote over on the Facebook be our official Judge again this week… so check it out here And while your there, feel free to like the page as it’s still a pretty good way to keep up with the comings and goings each week!

Bes Entry # 4

The First Place Bes Entry

I question whether or not even Jes could top this for adorability… I mean I suppose you could set the legs a lil closer maybe pigeon toe the feet… but dammit you know if you hug this guy his nose and eyes just get bigger and he just loves more intently…

Judge’s Commentary – Well technically I’m not the judge (the facebook fan favorite vote was) but I bet if this guy hadn’t won… I bet I would have fudged the numbers so he would have… I mean seriously look at this f*cker! Love him!

Bes Entry # 1

Bes (the egyptian diety) Entry # 1

It’s sorta like Yosemite Sam sexed up an egyptian ewok huh?

Bes Entry # 2

Bes (the egyptian diety) Entry # 2

So I was starting to investigate what exactly was in the amulet, but I figure why try and decipher anything past potentially mustachioed alien? …also, that’s the kind of high cheeked beard that can hide a mans tears!

Bes Entry # 3

Bes (the egyptian diety) Entry # 3

Oooh good twitchy eye this week! I almost want a lil Ren n Stympy style quivering closeup, and very creative way of symbolizing virility and strength by replacing that one arm with a giant steer horn! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Bes Entry # 5

Bes (the egyptian diety) Entry # 5

Oh man its like a crazy mulleted disco santa! I like where this going! well i suppose that disco ball could be a new years ball dropping but same dif! Look at the dwarfy strength in those limbs and I swear that lil egyptian cotton wrap is like millimeters from what we in the biz call revealing!

Bes Entry # 6

Bes (the egyptian diety) Entry # 6

haha so you know oddly the first thing I saw was that giant earwax booger in his left ear then I noticed the texture of what sorta feels like a bad 1970s sheer Sears bikini… So it took me a second to recover from the gross aspect, but, he’s got a great statuesque tongue and the kinda unfocused squid eyes you just gotta love!

Bes Entry # 7

Bes (the egyptian diety) Entry # 7

You know I’m pretty positive this is what an episode of Spongebob looks like on mushrooms… The Jellyfishing net is organically flowing into plumes and the dead duck is probably just your minds way of seeing Squidward being a downer, and Spongebob’s just doing what he does best… being full of wide eyed excitement about sh*t!

Buy A Mythical Beast Wars Shirt