The Parentless, Occasionally Morally Superior but Often Ill Mannered Wild Children

So let’s be honest Mad Mad Fury Road is out now, and I wanted to figure anything that could vaguely tie my excitement for said movie in with our weekly beasting! Now at the time of writing this I’ve not seen the new one yet but it’s relatively safe to assume (as it’s been a pretty running theme) that the new one will feature some parentless, wild haired, savages. Never know, maybe we’ll even get a furry vest, or a falconers glove thrown in the mix!

Now If you want to do a carefully rendered fan art style pointillist portrait of Feral Boy from the original Road warrior, I aint gonna complain… but for those who’d prefer to stay a lil truer to form, let’s begin our official beastly description… There are a multitude of Legends of feral children, from your very popular, Tarzans and Mowglis all the way to you Rome foundation myths with the wolf raised Romulus and Remus. The details can vary but generally here’s what you have.

• A human raised alone, without parents or by wild animals
• Generally portrayed as dirty, small, skittish, crazy haired and fur clad
• Possess very few table manners, and often carry some particular savagery learned of the beasts that raised them
• Because of their lack of human contact their moral base is, in concept, untainted
• Good with primitive tools and wild animal speak

As is the new plan, Winner Gets a Shirt! I’m still judging for now so you get extra points if you’re new, or have never won or if you’re really bad, or really good, or if i can tell what animal raised em without you saying… you get the point, just do your worst!