The Lumberjack’s Version of A Homework Eating Dog
We’re digging back in that well of Fearsome Critters from Lumberjack Lore this week, and pulling out one of my favorites, The Axe Handle Hound, or Axhandled Hound or SmaxSmandledSmound, however you wanna spell it. This lil guy has been terrorizing mighty lumberjacks for what must be centuries in the northern Midwest.
Said to be shaped remarkably like an axe itself with a wedge shaped head and long skinny body draped atop long skinny legs. And all accounts have it being remarkably shy and timid around humans when they are awake. But, mostly what this guy does, and what has given him the status of legend, is wait til nightfall, sniff out unattended axes and go to town on their handles, leaving nothing but useless lil axey nubs. (and one would assume quite a few quietly lost singular lumberjack tears).
Anyways, curly coarse coat of a schnauzer or golden gleaming coat or a retriever, I leave that up to you, same with what they do in the daytime when axe handles are not as readily available… You get the idea and even if you don’t, draw anyways cause that’s usually just as good!
Our Judge this week is Mr Jeff Gross, I don’t know that it’s actually true, but the legend was always that he was the very first employee at Victory Records (besides Tony). Now the list of nicknames and characters he somehow managed to keep in line and stories involved can keep a few of my buddies talking all night long. Since then he managed quite a large and unique customer service dept for Playboy and helped sad subscribers for over a decade. Suffice it to say, dude has a magical knack for having to say very little but somehow taking large disparate teams and uniting them under the common good. Which if you’ve ever tried ain’t nearly as easy as it seems… and one last bit…while retrospective band “comps” don’t really matter in this day and age… I would like it known that no one made a better one than Jeff!
