Scotland’s Pendulously Breasted, Shroud Washing, Harbinger of Death
So lots of cultures have harbingers of death, Ireland’s got it’s Banshees, The Southern US has Mothmen… But Scotland has one of the more unique ones in the Bean Nighe. Translated as Washer Woman, this ghostly female character is usually spotted along rivers, lochs or fjords, quietly weeping, and entrenched in the act of washing a set of death shrouds in the water. In the simplest tellings the shrouds are usually meant for the person who stumbles upon the beast or at least a member of that persons family.
Now if you like your beast lore to get weird as hell, chock full of nipple torture and super odd drawn out power plays, you’ll enjoy the following:
In more complex tellings, the Bean Nighe has large pendulous breast that get in the way of her washing duties (dooooo your boobs hang low….), So she does what any right minded and long boobed person would do when faced with said obstacle and slings them back over her shoulders. Now comes the weird part. If a person is capable of sneaking up behind the Bean Nighe without notice and manages to suckle or latch onto one of the backwards slung boobies (I had to, the rhythm was all wrong with just “boobs”) well then the Bean Nighe will be forced to tell the person who the shrouds are for, and depending on the telling and i guess the length of the latching and ferocity of the nipple play? Sometimes the entire upcoming death can be averted or at least delayed.
For those who never read the above (though you probably should), here’s your bulleted descriptors:
- Usually described as a ghostly older woman or hag
- Frequents edges of rivers, lochs and fjords
- Sometimes she’s nude sometimes clothed but she’s always washing something in the water
- That something she’s washing is almost always a death shroud of someone who’s soon to die
- Some tellings describe long pendulous breasts that she drapes back over her shoulders
Our judge this round was Christian Peña aka Chrispy: Dark surrealist artist from Chicago, a jack of trades that likes to party and that guy who won the sideshow drawing contest. Check out his work here!
Dang, it was hard to choose one because there were so many different elements I liked from others. But in the end I went with entry #12, falling over her own boobs. It’s so full of suspense! It reminds me of the times I fall and save my beer. You know you’re gonna get hurt anyhow, but that save in the end makes the pain go away. It’s like success in the face of failure. What cracks me up is that she probably trip and fell over her own bwebs. Aah, that’s life, sometimes we are the obstacles in our path. It also makes you cringe seeing her legs bent up in the air, she hit that floor full force. Her squishy eyes cover the full impact of her fall and the only thing that keeps her cool is knowing those clean cashmere knickers did not hit the dirty ground.
Disagree if you must but know that judgement is law and to the winner a shirt will go…. And even though the contest is done we’ll always welcome new Bean Nighe drawings for the archives! So draw on and remember, 25 beasts drawn earns you a shirt!
