The Beast of Bray Road

It’s a Werewolf Weened on Wisconsin Cheese!

Ah Wisconsin! Land of cows, fish, forests and fun! Where someday you’ll find me in my geodesic lakeside microfarm populated with tiny goats, donks and surrounded by beastly topiaries. Until then, I just have to be satisfied with visiting as often as possible. And for this battle, drawing your second most popular beasts! (hodag of course being #1)

Now if you’re like me, you generally associate lycanthropes with old europe but let’s be honest, if you’re like me, you’re also wrong all the time! Cause there’s most definitely something wolfy in the woods outside Elkhorn!

I’m not gonna bore you with too many details or witness accounts. Just know if you want ’em, the internet is chock full and there’s even a full fledged movie about him that airs on syfy about this time each year! Mostly here’s what you need to know. It looks like a werewolf, meaning half man half wolf. It’s big, about 7-8 feet on two feet, and about 3-4 feet on all fours and estimates put it at between 400-700 lbs. It’s covered in long grey and brown hair, has a ferocious toothsome maw and most sightings have it somewhere near a roadside (I’m guessing cause that’s where people are looking). Anyway smash that with what you know about Wisconsin, and we done got ourselves a summertime beastly battle!

Winner still gets a shirt. Points will be given for hilarity, adorability, newness of artist, humorous wisconsin references jean short and fern inclusion… you get the point, oh and feel free to include your own caption if you want.

I’m not even giving you the bulleted list cause all i need to say is: It’s a 7 foot werewolf from Wisconsin!

judgement Is Complete

The Beast of Bray Road Entry # 3

The First Place Beast Of Bray Road Entry

Now I don’t care how straight laced you are, you gotta admit, there’s just something sexy about a sad eyed wanderer… a lil light on the wolf maybe, but I love that his lil wings sorta make him look like a carrot!

Judge’s Comments – So first off, you get new person points, second you get sad eyes (well technically sad eye) points and third you get goin down yer own path points! which this week is enough to take you over the top, so congrats and welcome!

The Beast of Bray Road Entry # 4

The Second Place Beast Of Bray Road Entry

I don’t know… this one’s kinda cheesey! yessss! Owwwww Owwwww ArrroooooOOOOOOO! Seriously though I want someone to launch the Beast of Bray road frozen pizza line with this art… You know the one that’s howlingly good!

Judge’s Comments – So I was absolutely sure this one was getting the win for like a week and a half now… and here’s the problem with me judging, I’m a big last minute decision swapper for lil to no valid reason … I love every last part of its cheesey goodness but in the end I think i felt it hit the mark too perfectly (aka its not you its me) but also welcome and congrats to you… I’m betting you’ll have a shirt coming soon if you play again!

The Beast of Bray Road Entry # 2

The Third Place Beast Of Bray Road Entry

Dammit you gotta appreciate when these teach you about yourself… turns out I love a giant headed werewolf with flies, a hairless mangy belly and who’s waiting patiently to express his alternate and probably moon phase based point of view!…

Judge’s Comments – Well the official reason is I love the “Pig-Pen style” flies and the fact that he’s shaped like a 1950s movie rocket! but Secondarily, Scott brought both our first and second place winners to the table via his tweets as @fro_vo so I thought he deserved a special thanks, so thanks Scott!

The Beast of Bray Road Entry # 1

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 1

God I love it when we get one on the first day! Not to curse us, but, hopefully a good sign of beasts to come! So let’s see here, Cheesehead hat? Check! Bratwurst? Check! Zubaz? haha… yep there seem to be Packers colored Zubaz!… really the only parts I question the legitimacy of, would be he seems really ripped to be from ‘sconnie, and potentially looks a lil were-foxy, but hey maybe that’s the idea! OWW! OWW AROOOOOO!

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 5

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 5

Soon to be the cover of Wisconsin’s famed quarterly “Boobs Butts Wolves and Walleye”! Obviously, I get jean shorts points here… just making sure you notice ๐Ÿ˜‰

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 6

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 6

Now with the Basketball jersey, I sorta wanna go Teen Wolf here, but i have to cop to not even watching minute one of the new one (no van surfing? why even bother?)… so instead let’s just talk about his sad sad I am a monster eyes, and how much wolfy pummeling he could do with that over-swolled right arm!

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 7

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 7

You know there’s so much good here but all my eye goes to are that wonky Rick Bayless soul patch, and how freaking unnaturally straight his one leg is! And odds are he’s probably safe to pick up right? I mean he’s obviously tripping way too hard to really stay focused on strangling long enough to do any real damage…

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 8

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 8

Man that is some good serpentine bodied, dead eyed, giant wolfery! I’m torn between wanting to know more about what’s up with the obvious inside joke and just being glad its happening! I mean that corn dog is as big as the farmer’s whole family and she seems to be wearing the famed skechers “shape ups”, which in itself made me laugh! But just to be sure wedmesdee is northern mom for wednesday right? Not a cool town name like Keweskum?

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 9

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 9

I know Mr Werewolf, the Illinois side of the state line does have a tendency to smell a lil icky and stale… And I know a lot of you folks are saying. “oh why so much blood?” but having spent a lot of time in ‘sconnie, I can almost guarantee that’s cobbler juice, and I’m guessing by the way it’s splattered, a damn fine one!

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 10

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 10

Interesting that a werewolf, generally known for its ferocity and animalistic lack on conscience would choose fly fishing… It seems real catch and releasey for a lyncanthrope but hey maybe all that cheese is effecting his motivations… nonetheless that’s some great outside the lines furring!

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 11

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 11

haha god I love it so, maybe cause it looks a lil like a dicknosed monster who just found a bloodless ween in a beautiful cheesy moonlit glade…. but I’m pretty sure that’s a tallboy and not a dink and I’m going to guess you were going more for a party wolf having a good time on a friday night, so I can be happy with that too!

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 12

The Beast Of Bray Road Entry # 12

It’s funny, the badger is totally wisconsin, plus he’s big, hairy and properly personified to pass as a werewolf… so is it really just the row boat that as our artist put it “…seem a bit Wind in the Willows, all terribly nice and English” which made me chuckle as that in itself sounds terribly nice and english!

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