The Heaviest Beast of All!
The Behemoth is a giant ox like creature described in the old testament and used as a metaphor to the supposed power of god. Said to have a tail thick as a cedar, bones like brass or iron and the ability to draw up the River Jordan into its mouth. But otherwise The behemoth lounged around the brooks and willows near the river and munched on nothing but vegetation, leading some researchers to believe he was in fact a very large pachyderm of some variety or even the impossible surviving sauropod.
In Jewish belief the Behemoth is the primordial beast of land, so large and powerful that no one could control or contain it except for the one who created it blah blah blah… but more importantly come the end of days, eventually the behemoth will fight to the death with his watery brother leviathan and pretty much destroy the world in process, but on the bright side all of the righteous survivors will get to feast on behemoth flesh for the rest of their days. (kinda hoping Behemoth meat doesn’t spoil).
Anyways he’s big, really really big, he’s fat, some descriptions give him tusks or horns, sometimes he has toes sometimes he has hooves, and they named a Polish black metal band after him so you know he… well really I don’t know what that means other than corpse paint is probably an acceptable addition this week!
Our judge this week is Mr Craig Hutler! Old work cohort of most of the original contributors and long time carpool buddy to me! An all star product/project owner who taught me the virtue of a zen like patience in the workplace and how to look fantastic in clothes I’d never even consider wearing. He was Milwaukee before Milwaukee was cool, had a sweet motorbike before Kenny, he saw Die Kreuzen before I really kissed a girl and he’s all around a pretty great guy. He’s recently moved out west to the land of sasquatches, crusties and moss laden forests where I’m sure when he’s not changing the world for one of America’s corporate giants, I assume he’s still staying up way too late playing lots an lots of video games. We miss you buddy, wish you nothing but success and really hope you don’t get eaten by a bear!