The Berserkers

The Pantsless But Fur Clad Animalistic Viking Warriors of Extraordinary Magnitude

Every famous army has their shock troops, and as myth tells it, Odin’s was no exception! Hell his boys didn’t even need armour! Naked but for a shield, maybe an animal mask and a bear or wolf skin draped over their heads, the Berserkers, were said to rush into battle howling, roaring, biting and killing with all the delicacy of a horde of rabid demons.

Berserkers were said to be fearless and nearly indestructible. Now perhaps this was because their cause was so true and blessed that magically, iron nor fire had effect on them. But the alternative theory is seemingly a lil more realistic in that they showed no fear as they were just whacked out of their gourds on the Norse equivalent of bath salts. But hey, whatever the reason, when someone in modern day times goes apesh*t crazy we still say they are going Berserk, and that’s some F’ing brand longevity and in my opinion worth a drawing or 30!

Here’s the bullet points:

  • Norse warriors of legend
  • Naked but for a bear or wolf skin draped upon their heads
  • Bit their own shields in anticipation of battle
  • Howled and roared like animals
  • Fought in a trance-like frenzy
  • Seemingly indestructible
  • Potentially whacked out of their gourds on Bog Myrtle

judgement Is Complete

our judgeSo I judged this week, and was all set to judge and criticize everyone’s weens … but alas it seems we were nearly ween free and since I am a judge of character, I refused to adjust and you see the results below!

The Berserker Entry # 1

The First Place Bereserker Entry

You know, I’m not sure what you’re seeing, but I’m pretty sure I just accidentally drew Yukon Cornelius naked but for a bearskin cowl…

Judge’s Commentary – Well here’s a surprise I’m picking me to win! Really though my criteria was best dink and ummm since no one else even drew one i dont have a hell of a lot of choice… plus I’m pretty sure the rest of you have all got shirts! double plus… you gotta admit this guys pretty good!

The Berserker Entry # 8

The Second Place Bereserker Entry

haha! You know… if you’re bog myrtled to the point that you’re absolutely dead set on using two axes simultaneously aaaaand you wanna protect your dangling parts all at the same time, this ain’t an all bad technique! You gotta love that peek of nard, it’s like the world worst version of underboob!

Judge’s Commentary – Sticking with the best dork representation as criteria, and since we are dork-less for the rest, this one’s got underball exposure, and its pretty damn fun… so I’m pretty sure that’s good enough!

The Berserker Entry # 7

The Third Place Bereserker Entry

Yes so sinewy and tooth centric! Is it one too many head blows causing him to see those floating teeth, like so many cartoon birds? Is this the voltron like moment where all the bits get positioned before they slam together to form a mighty tooth shouldered warrior? Maybe he’s just standing in the snow covered lower jaw of a long dead viking sea beast? Regardless, needs more ween! ha!

Judge’s Commentary -so I’m realizing I probably should have just changed my judging criteria, cause this is potentially the weakest reasoning I’ve ever had for a placement… Cause while there is no visible ween, it did come with an apology for the lack of said ween and an explanation that given differing circumstances he would have included it and made it funnier and since its from my buddy who I’ve been hassling about drawing for years I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and remind him in his own words… “nothing wrong with appreciating the human form”!

The Berserker Entry # 2

The Berserker Entry # 2

Man I gotta say I didn’t expect a bronze biting madman from a mythical Norse past to have such impressive chompers! And I know i should mind my business, but I sorta want him to get a better grip on that sword, it seems the kinda thing that may slip easily in a war trance

The Berserker Entry # 3

The Berserker Entry # 3

“Behold! My Enormous Chopper!” – Yes! get it? get it? That is on hell of a crazed war gaze and more possum clothes even!

The Berserker Entry # 4

The Berserker Entry # 4

Man! I love when you wanna guess what they’d smell like from a mere glance! I’m saying somewhere between Fritos and old tent! And now that I’m guessing, given the color of the gore splatter, I kinda love the idea that he’s just ravaging the hell out of a German chocolate cake!

The Berserker Entry # 5

The Berserker Entry # 5

Haha you know i just couldn’t figure out what was green on his chest that I could see through the giant donut, then i realized it was just a delicious shield he was chomping on… not sure if that’s whats happening here, but if it is… i fully support “frankism” ๐Ÿ˜‰

The Berserker Entry # 6

The Berserker Entry # 6

I wanna know how with no background imagery at all, this guy feels more like a ceremonial hula dancer overlooking an coastal island sunset than a bloodthirsty viking… maybe it’s just too many drugs! Regardless, I love that viking Sean has a crazy thick neck!

The Berserker Entry # 9

The Berserker Entry # 9

Ha! So I have lots of lil things you as an artist can include, that in my book, deserve extra credit, and until now, I never knew standing pantless, one foot astride a freshwater whale was one of em! Such a good level of war proven confidence here, and Dammit it reminds me how long its been since I watched Trollhunter again (if you haven’t seen it please do)…

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