The Coonigator

Vermont’s Campground Terror!

Said to be a grotesque hybrid of a raccoon and an alligator the Coonigator or Raccoonigator has been the stuff of legend in rural Vermont for generations. Most commonly spotted diving in dumpsters or scavenging unkempt campsites around the Mount Pelier region of the state.

Upon first appearance they seem very raccoon-like what with their fuzzy round gray bodies and striped furry tales but observers who go in for a closer look are surprised by a terrifying reptilian maw jammed packed with the teeth of an alligator. My “Monster Spotter’s Handbook” claims they look a lot like the lil guys from “Critters” but most of the pics on the net I can find lean more towards a protruding snout, and if i know one thing it’s that the internet’s always right!

You know the routine, take it and run. I only ask that you remember the details that can make it fun: Teeny humanesque hands, bandit masks, a body that will look considerably smaller when wet, horrible smells, famed thievery and from the other side of the hybrid the tendency towards malicious lurking, explosive power and the potential for a bird friend or two for flossing those ice cream containers and syrup bottle shards from out of their overbit jaws!

judgement Is Complete

our judge Our Judge this week is Hilary Finch Hutler, Rumored to be one hell of a chef and the wife of previous judge Craig, when she saw what he got to do, she was all about joining in on the fun. Check out her food blog Tummyrumblr and I thank her for what I think is a fantastic job in what would have been a bit of a nightmare week to judge!

The Coonigator Entry # 9

The First Place Coonigator Entry

Nice stripe-age! I’m a sucker for that posture and the sleepy eyes, and I kinda like to think he’s playing a slow game of desert reptile hot foot… plus you gotta love a traditionally blue lined canvas.

Judge’s Commentary – In the end, I kept coming back to this guy. It’s exactly what I *want* the coonigator to look like. It captures what would likely be true of a coon-gator hybrid, which is most definitely not giving a shit. Also, I’m a sucker for stripes.

The Coonigator Entry # 3

The Second Place Coonigator Entry

Bwahaha, that one got me on first view! Their expressions just make me happy. Great lowrider format and what I wanna know is how that texturing works… like from the raccoon head… is it fuzzy, scaly , then fuzzy?

Judge’s Commentary – This entry made me so happy. The gator face especially. I want to believe that in the end the coonigator just wants to be hugged, and I would definitely hug this beast. I also love that this guy doesn’t have those creepily human raccoon fingers, but instead has Smurf feet. Snuggly!

The Coonigator Entry # 8

The Third Place Coonigator Entry

Aww he’s freaking adorable too! The caught in the spotlight/telescope lens and the palette really gives him a warm fuzzy feel. And I kinda love that even the best of you are having a bit of an issue lining up the gator snout with the coon head!

Judge’s Commentary – Holy Moses. Is it possible that this entry was drawn from an *actual* photo of the rare and elusive coonigator? Also loved the binocular/telescope effect. Submitted by Nikki!

The Coonigator Entry # 1

The Coonigator Entry # 1

Came with Caption – He is very, very sleepy from a long night of peering in windows, looking for nighttime buddies and discarded pairs of footie pajamas that he can wear while talking to birdie friends and watching “Mork and Mindy”. His tender pink underbelly lets us know that he is four. He is a strong swimmer and has a rock collection that he organizes by their niceness and pH.

The Coonigator Entry # 2

The Coonigator Entry # 2

I guess if it was a ukelele it would have made more sense, so I’m just going to have to ask you to imagine it was possible that someone made a banjo that small… that or this dude is at least labrador sized.

The Coonigator Entry # 4

The Coonigator Entry # 4

Oh that is a fantastic gator gullet! all swolled and stretchy lookin! The lil button nose is great! And the slop of Vermont’s finest dripping from his jaw is a nice touch.

The Coonigator Entry # 5

The Coonigator Entry # 5

Really what monster isn’t just a little bit better with a decent set of back fins! Those toes are fantastic and just the right kind of misshapen and big fan of the puffed up and tall posturing, caus eyou know that’s what racoons do!

The Coonigator Entry # 6

The Coonigator Entry # 6

Ha! Such elegant eyes and fingernails, and the front raccoon – back gator is a nice twist especially with the half n half mangey coat. But what’s happening round his head? Is he in front of a log or is that one hell of a tumor?

The Coonigator Entry # 7

The Coonigator Entry # 7

Man give an alligator opposable thumbs and you know you’re in for some trouble. Such a good skeezy posture! And the legit bandit mask and those dead, dead eyes bring it all home in case for some weird reason the caption didn’t get ya first.

The Coonigator Entry # 10

The Coonigator Entry # 10

Yes! great snout and gotta love a good radiation laden dumpster dive! Now I suppose the obvious question is whether his diet caused the deformity or if Coonigators just prefer their food a little “hot” if you will.

The Coonigator Entry # 11

The Coonigator Entry # 11

Nice Sendaky toes and motion and festively dressed in a lil bunny suit… I suppose this begs the question of how Coonigators procreate? Do they lay eggs in a nest? Do they have live young protected in their jaws… so many questions!

The Coonigator Entry # 12

The Coonigator Entry # 12

Hahaha! Sh*t just got real indeed! So when i got this I chuckled for a good 3-4 minutes… Our artist has evolved! While personally, I like an entirely hand drawn entry, there is an amazing record cover feel to this that cannot be denied! Bravo!

The Coonigator Entry # 13

The Coonigator Entry # 13

Ok so never mind the fact that you have somehow revolutionized how nature should shape animals moving forward, but what business do you have being able to draw that fricking cute of a raccoon face! This thing is amazing!

The Coonigator Entry # 14

The Coonigator Entry # 14

Ok so never mind the fact that you have somehow revolutionized how nature should shape animals moving forward, but what business do you have being able to draw that fricking cute of a raccoon face! This thing is amazing!

The Coonigator Entry # 15

The Coonigator Entry # 15

So it would seem Coonigators have few if any friends, so when it comes time to play volleyball, they just have to pretend to serve… this is another from the Seanism camp and I have to say the line energy this week is superb!

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The Coonigator Entry # 16

The Coonigator Entry # 16

Ok so if any of you saw my initial caption it was long and wandering cause… um… I posted it upside down… it’s amazing what a lil thing like “backwards” will do to a brain… now that it’s fixed it makes all the sense in the world, Im no longer seeing random owl faces and honestly he’s cute as hell! Though I will still leave this part from the old caption: I always love when a drawing reminds me I need to set aside a summer week some year to try peyote! And I will note that I’m sad I no longer get to say christ posed possessor of dangling demon hands…but at least the drawing is now how it was intended!

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