The Disemboweler

Greenland’s People Eating Comedian Hag With A Side-Splitting Sense of Humor!

 
So first things first it’s early Summer, folks are busy poking their noses outside for the first time in months and I need a little time to tweak our upcoming site improvements so we’re stretching this one for two weeks. So submissions for the Disemboweler will be due 6/21/13 by Midnight CST.
 
Now to business, The Disemboweler is a legendary hag from Greenland. She was cousin of the moon but cast down to Earth for her wicked ways. Generally she wandered the dark forests looking for a lost soul who had wandered too far and found themselves both lost and most likely delicious… It’s when there were no lost folk to feed upon that our beast’s most intriguing traits came into play. It would seem she had the ability to sneak/appear within folks houses where she would famously whisper a joke into her victim’s ear that was so funny said joke receiver would literally burst their stomach from the inside with laughter, at which point the Disemboweler would feast on delicious innards.
 
Now I’ve got very little in the way of descriptive traits for you, she’s from Greenland, she’s female, being referred to as a hag, you could assume she’s not overly attractive… but other than that might I suggest this is a battle that could be enhanced by captions. So let’s dust of those Truly Tasteless Joke paperbacks and see what you kids consider funny!
 
judgement Is Complete
 
our judgeSubmissions were light this week, and I know most all of you, so instead of seeking out a judge this week, I just looked under my feet. Our judge this week is my bulldog Gir, a giant headed 8 year old pile of muscle blubber and smells. He just recently had to have one of his canine teef extracted and he’s been a lil down as it keeps him from his favorite activity (chewing things). So hopefully this important responsibility gives him the emotional burst that he needs. Judging worked thusly: prints of each entry were made and placed in a room with a single nugget of food beneath each. The first three to be snuffled or slobbered upon are our winners! Honestly I think he did a pretty good job though I feel Shirilla and I got robbed…
 

The Disemboweler Entry # 5

The Disemboweler Entry # 4

Yes! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the need to double up on your lined paper! Kinda funny that we have two cousin moons so similarly placed in a row, but i suppose where else are they gonna go… Anyways that’s one hell of a warm looking furry collar and something about her lil teeth and offset left eye that make her remarkably sinister… Oh and there’s a bucket below the severed head but I cropped it out for optimum viewing size…

Judge’s Commentary

“snooorff!” There was no doubt as to first place, a quick glance of the room, and an immediate trot to this entry. I like to think Gir is already a fan of this new counter movement to Seanism that I think we’ll coin “Sneurism”!

The Disemboweler Entry # 8

The Disemboweler Entry # 8

It’s like one of those silly belly puppet shows but 1000 times better! A few traits that I think are important to note, if in fact all you ate were soft innards there would be no real reason for dagger like fangs, some rounded nubbins would do the job just fine, her fingers are obviously mangled from Greenlands famous frostbite and excessive armpit hair is obviously all the rage with hags. Now i just wanna know where you found a blue flair!

Judge’s Commentary

Technically he said nothing here, but this sheet did get the most licks, so I’m guessing blue ink looks especially tastey, though always possible creatures with goofy proportions favor one another.

The Disemboweler Entry # 2

The Disemboweler Entry # 2

Knock knock! Who’s there? Your innards are and they are freaking delicious! Good evil nose and brows on this one, and again always a fan of the unintentional blurry photo gives us a sense of hyper realism!

Judge’s Commentary

Again no comments were made here, but i can tell you that it was a very close decision between this and mine, I kind of assume he went this way cause i drove him to get his tooth removed…

The Disemboweler Entry # 1

The Disemboweler Entry # 1

I’m not sure the point of that joke is the side-splitting punchline…but it is fun to draw… I found it especially hard to express “TaDa!” and still try and picture a realistic ending to the scenario at hand… oh well.

The Disemboweler Entry # 3

The Disemboweler Entry # 3

Ummm she’s obviously never seen lady and the Tramp, everyone knows the best way to slurp innards is across a plaid clothed table with your would be lover so you can meet somewhere around the ileocecal sphincter for a smooch! Great lolling tongue btw!

The Disemboweler Entry # 4

The Disemboweler Entry # 4

Ok so moon cousin Neil Hamburger is kind of cracking me up… Is that Disemboweler Jane Lynch? Whether it is or not I’m all for anyone sporting a carnival barker’s jacket and bow tie. And always a fan of pinstripes that don’t conform to the actual fabric, its a straight up F you to draping!

The Disemboweler Entry # 6

The Disemboweler Entry # 6

Ahh a reference to America’s favorite pop culture cannibal, Funny how a required accessory for transporting such a bitey individual has become a fashionable add on to this Disemboweler’s look! And is that there simmering hand smoking a cigar? Might want to grab that before it falls in, ash can pretty much ruin the taste of innards. Great weird ass magic posture and Ha! i just saw the boobs!

The Disemboweler Entry # 7

The Disemboweler Entry # 7

Man those are some Greenlandic eyes if i have ever seen a pair! (I’m not entirely sure that I have). Is that a side part in the fur of her wintery hood? cause if so it makes me smile. I love that feathery tree and the body pooled with gore in the snow. And I know it’s cold Ms Disemboweler, but I’m saying it’s common sense to take your mittens off when eating innards…

The Disemboweler Entry # 9

The Disemboweler Entry # 9

Something about that howdy doody face always makes me chuckle? the monster ears maybe? Great combo teeth and look how many arms are being utilized for disemboweling! so effecient and I’m guessing she can play one hell of a yakbone harp or whatever stringed instrument is commonly strummed in Greenland!

The Disemboweler Entry # 10

The Disemboweler Entry # 10

The blue marker makes a return! I’m now imagining you guys had to share one drawing device and I think that’s adorable! I do have a few questions, why are this characters pecs so very far apart? Greenlandic boob job? And it’s been a while since I’ve played with one of those there take my organs out dummies, but I’m relatively sure there are supposed to be a heck of a lot more squishy parts in there between the heart and the intestines. But Mostly it looks kinda like a goofy face, and that makes me very happy!

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