The Three Legged,Ape Headed, Dinosaur Armed, Toe Stomping Swamp Beast of Southern Illinois
Alright kids we got a guest judge and a “home court” beast with, ahem… three legs… so let’s see if we can drag a few asses out of hiding to draw!
Let’s set the stage, 1973, Enfield Illinois, dude hears a scratching at his door, opens it to find a four foot tall, three legged, gray, tiny armed and giant pink eyed monster trying to get in, since its rural illinois, dude is obviously not far from his pistol, so he grabs it, and attempts to shoot said beast in the face…Maybe he hits it, maybe he doesnt, but thing hisses, bounds 75 feet away in three leaps and disappears…
Now with just one witness, you might be willing to just give this a “1970s cough syrup dream” pass… But! we’ve got another witness! A young boy who lives back yonder from original dude, was playing in his yard, only to look up into the giant pink eyes of what he described as a three legged ape. Said mutant ape stomps on said young child’s toes (ripping his shoes with his talon like claws even), and said kid promptly bursts into tears, runs to tell his parents, who in turn tell the authorities and a legend was born.
Now some folks call alien, others say secret genetic experiments, some just say mutant, hydro cephalic swamp slob (I’m pretty sure no one says that). Mostly I don’t care where you decide he’s from, I just wanna see silly pictures! So here’s what you’re working with:
- From Illinois
- 4-5 feet tall
- has three legs (I’m just leaving it alone)
- Has an enormous head with “flashlight large” pink eyes
- Seemingly undersized arms that end in talons
- Can jump crazy far
- It obviously hates toes… and doors
- It’s gray…
So there you go, we’ve got a celebrity judge this round, many time champion Midwestern Tanuki. Beyond the fact that I very much admire the depth of the Groening-esque, referential nerdery in his drawings (which you can see here)… Here’s what I know: Born and raised in the Chicagoland area… From an early age has had a major interest and knowledge of dinosaurs, kaiju, movie monsters, creatures of folklore/tall tales/mythology and cryptozoology… Is a creature/monster consultant for the soon to be released tabletop RPG, “Onward Bound: Long Road to Destiny”… has a creative sense of humor honed to a razor’s edged point of wit!
Here’s the verdict in the judge’s own words: I was impressed with the amount of different interpretations for one of IL’s slightly lesser known Cryptids. It was tough to narrow it down to just one, but I am going to have to say entry #3/Mike G is the winner. Their interpretation just screams customized airbrushed artwork from the side of a 1970’s/80’s van. Plus, it is the cutest version of The Enfield horror I’ve seen since AIMERAI’s ball jointed doll figure of it came out in 2015.
Keep up the good work everyone.
I’ll be in touch about your shirt and thanks to all who drew! Know that judgement is now law and to the victor go the spoils! And don’t forget, you can always send your drawings of the the Enfield Horror in late, you won’t win a shirt but I’ll gladly post it for everyone’s enjoyment!
