The God Anubis

The Egyptian Deity With the Head of a Jackal Who Was Super Into Mummification!

 
Pretty sure this is the first time we’ve gone Egyptian Deity, and if you’re going to do something might as well go whole hog, so we’re breaking out the “Balancer of Scales”, the “Lord of the Dead” or if you’d rather, “that hieroglyph with the dog’s head”.
 
Now as many of you burgeoning Egyptologists know over the centuries, the roles of Anubis and Osiris get very intermingled and confusing, and partially because I just want to see if the David Lee Moth guy can fit an entire 80’s band on someone’s shoulders, I’m just going to give you the basic descriptors to role with.

  • Head of a Jackal, Body of a Man
  • Most Often Colored Black to Represent Death
  • Tended to Carry Around a Flail? and an Ankh
  • Super into Mummies and Embalming
  • Liked to Wear Skirts and Funny Headdresses

 
judgement Is Complete
 
our judgeIn a first for me, our judge has requested to go unnamed, so we’ll just pretend this judgement was delivered to me in a dream, cause that’s more fun. Though I do have to admit I’m a little fond of the “frenchiest” criteria…

 

First Place – Anubis Entry # 4

AnubisEntry4

“It’s Fluffy! The French Bulldog Anubis!” – Nice! and being a frenchy you know its farts make it smell properly of death decay and old bath milk! I’m especially fond of that lil paw!

Judge’s Commentary

Frenchiest!

Anubis Entry # 8

Anubis Entry # 8

There are some weeks I’m jealous as hell of how genius the seanists are. I’m noting a much more organized beard than previous appearances and call me crazy… and maybe it’s just the headpiece but i swear there’s the distance of wisdom in that wonky gaze this week that almost feels flattering!

Judge’s Commentary

Second frenchiest!

Anubis Entry # 11

Anubis Entry # 11

Hey! You spelled it wrong! I’m just sorta glad you didn’t make all the holes in the lettering lil anuses! And I don’t know if I’m feeling jackal as much as say ground hog, but I’m sure as sh*t lost in his eyes!.

Judge’s Commentary

Fourth frenchiest, Anus trumps Mummy.

Anubis Entry # 1

Anubis Entry # 1

That is an awful cute lil dress to be worn by someone carrying a spiked chain mace! and what is that a sun hat or one of those sweet ass old tailed painters caps from when i was in 5th grade? both valid options btw, and she should really stop chewing her wrist she’ll end up in a cone!

Anubis Entry # 2

Anubis Entry # 2

I gotta say i love it when they have that lil, pelvis shifted forward, tada/look what i can do pose! The mummy head on a stick, both practical for intimidation practices as well as dusting hard to reach nooks, and I do love me some old timey cartoon style eyelashes!

Anubis Entry # 3

Anubis Entry # 3

He’s here for all your foxy egyptian ladies… get it? Foxy cause he’s like a jackal or something…

Anubis Entry # 5

Anubis Entry # 5

“He’s a mummy’s boy. Don’t mess with his mummy.” – I kinda love that you kids are actually including lil captions this week! Great classic Anubisy coloring and gotta love someone goin “ripped”… though I gotta say my favorite part is the hieroglyph of the leisurely strolling, little green riding hood with the bird feet!

Anubis Entry # 6

Anubis Entry # 6

“His name is Yarora and he’s made of brick.” – Ha yes he is and adorably smarmy as well, though I question if those whiskers would hold up for long if they too were masonry, though i suppose magic masonry is always an option when you’re dealing with deities… and dammit I want to know more about the headless turkey bleeding through the page!

Anubis Entry # 7

Anubis Entry # 7

Man I sorta wish I was as high as you today! Ha! It’s like the metal/horrorcore rap kid’s notebook mated with the kid who picks dandelions at lunch’s notebook! And great example of how varying arm length connotes distrust in your viewer! And I love that he has modern day jon bon jovi hair!

Anubis Entry # 9

Anubis Entry # 8

Hell yes its another case of godlike abs! And on a beast with some obvious circulation issues even! And am I alone in reading those bike shorts as some sort of Zubaz style flourescent and black flair… it especially helps if you read the neck wrap as an ascot… cause if time has proven anything… it’s that that’s a pretty forever good look!

Anubis Entry # 10

Anubis Entry # 10

Finally! Some Jackyl lyrics! And something about the godlike straight faced presentation that makes it so much better! And Goddamn that is a mother of a chainsaw! It looks like one of those motorbikes someone put a V8 in just cause they can.

Anubis Entry # 12

Anubis Entry # 12

Ha! Damn you for being so good! Though I have a hard time she could readily send someone off to damnation… That chin looks so soft and fuzzy, look at those adorable cast separated swollen digits and is that the jacket from the cover of “Ramona the Pest”?

Anubis Entry # 13

Anubis Entry # 13

This guy came in late with the ol’ “my phone failed to send…” excuse, but we were a lil soft this week and it’s pretty damn fun so I’m game! I mean he’s obviously stolen his master’s arm and he’s got the patented “Anubis Model” pyramid shaped dog house, how can that be bad, and I’m oddly enthralled with the intricacies of that mummy’s softly looping wraps!

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