The Scissor Man

The Great Tall Tailor Always Comes…

This week’s beast comes to us by way of German fairly tales (the creepiest kind if you ask me). I’m not going to add a whole lot this week as the tale pretty much give’s you what you need, but for the really attention impaired, he’s a tall red legged tailor who uses scissors to remove the thumbs of children who suck them…

In the book Struwwelpeter Heinrich Hoffmann’s The Story of Little Suck-a-Thumb Goes thusly:

The Story of Little Suck-a-Thumb

One day, Mamma said, “Conrad dear,
I must go out and leave you here.
But mind now, Conrad, what I say,
Don’t suck your thumb while I’m away.
The great tall tailor always comes
To little boys that suck their thumbs.
And ere they dream what he’s about
He takes his great sharp scissors
And cuts their thumbs clean off, – and then
You know, they never grow again.”
 
Mamma had scarcely turn’d her back,
The thumb was in, alack! alack!
The door flew open, in he ran,
The great, long, red-legged scissorman.
Oh! children, see! the tailor’s come
And caught our little Suck-a-Thumb.
 
Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go;
And Conrad cries out – Oh! Oh! Oh!
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast;
That both his thumbs are off at last.
 
Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;
“Ah!” said Mamma “I knew he’d come
To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb.”

judgement Is Complete

our judgeOur judge this week is Mr James Trevenen! Professional photographer, and retoucher and long time work cohort of your’s truly. A true comic book nerd and obsessive Kevin Smith fan, James was my go to Sci fi discussion buddy. I’ve wasted more Monday mornings than i can count with him bantering about the previous weekends airing of Dr who or Battlestar or hell we were even on a Lost kick for a few years. A talented and lovable guy who’s actually getting married today and wanted to fill the waiting hours with beasts, which I respect the hell out of! So I thank him and wish him and his wife to be years of happiness and monsterous beast drawings! In the meantime feel free to check out his work and I believe he’s still looking for an official full time slot so if you have the need hire his ass! http://jamestrevenen.com/ (i didn’t check every link on his site, so fair warning there might be a bit of nudity)

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 18

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 18

Striped tights can make anything kinda sexy! ha! It’s been a while since i’ve seen a “last Starfighter” reference! That psycho KIingon/future computer text is getting better and better and I bet that bloated thumb arm smells really really bad!

Judge’s Commentary

last star fighter… Says it all. And I love his crazy long legs. And the thumb border creeps me out! Submitted by E Smith!

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 17

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 17

It’s so good, but now I’m wondering if having a thumbnail for a face would make it hard to show emotion, or for that matter even speak, maybe that’s why his body language with this gruesome discovery is so powerful?

Judge’s Commentary

big thumb looks so sad from the sight of baby thumb on the ground Submitted by Jes

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 14

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 14

Hey he’s pretty scary! Such a fantastic waif like silhouette! and you gotta love a beard that feels like it’s hairy right up to his eyes! Plus he’s got a drippy bag of gore and they gracefully used the term “thumbsucks” which I will now be stealing!

Judge’s Commentary

I love that it looks like Rob Zombie and the use of the standard book font Submitted by Ralph

The Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 1

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 1

Ha! I know it’s a good one when i have this strong a gut reaction! I wanna punch him so bad… maybe it’s that he looks like a fox hunter, maybe its his googly eyes… I just know its not those legs and feet cause i freaking love those!

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 2

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 2

nobody likes the naughty finger! Well that’s not true I kinda love it, given some day it will probably get me killed but still, that’s part of the fun… Anyways back to the matter at hand great lifts and dingle! but Poor scissormanship!

The Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 3

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 3

Yes! not only did you steal the universal soldier style necklace of thumbs straight from my mind, but he’s perched on a mountain of em as well… gotta wonder what makes the necklace ones so special … good creepy scissor fingers too.

The Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 4

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 4

Cuz what does he do with them afterwards? Ha! See I would think nibble em… but what’s a better place to nibble from then a jar? And there are some good gnarled looking thumbnails in that batch, which I assume brings great earthy flavor!

The Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 5

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 5

I think i started going for the lil round glassed guy from Raiders but dammit if he started going cute, now he just looks like the warden from SuperJail Mind you he’d still lop off a thumb, but kinda cutely…

The Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 6

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 6

Everyone move aside, hot bloodied scissor woman coming through! I’m especially entertained with the “ta ta” caption. Though even with practice and magical powers, I’m betting its hard to get thumb lopping leverage using that grip.

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 7

the Great Long Red egged Scissor Man Entry # 7

So anyone remember the Little Prince pretty sure if you plopped this guy on his own personal planet, and you know, lost the bloody thumb… he’d be a dead ringer for our planet hoping children’s book adventurer! Maybe its his hair?

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 8

the Great Long Red egged Scissor Man Entry # 8

My buddy Ken convinced me to try an episode of Amish Mafia once, I’m pretty sure this was one of the enforcers. His limbs are so withered and misshapen! And that beautiful crumpled scissor hand!

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 9

the Great Long Red egged Scissor Man Entry # 9

And the longest legs so far! And that pelvis is either proportionately long or really really broken! Great facial features on this one, especially fond of the caterpillar brows! and good tip toeing action!

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 10

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 10

Never take candy from strangers and never stand in line for a guy with a pocket overflowing with thumbs! Said Scissor man is actually quite creepy and that baby really looks like he’s been working on his upper body!

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 11

the Great Long Red egged Scissor Man Entry # 11

Hey I do believe this may be our first appearcance of the ultimate boogy Mr Krueger, and done in silhouette so he’s all the more graphically powerful! That kids giant buttoned overalls and freckles are kinda funny too…

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 12

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 12

Nice vivid color and those is some pointy assed toes! Kind of a cool cross cultural thing goin’ on here. I’m loving the fit of his jacket, that fantastic all hand left arm, and I will always be a sucker for a kid stuffed in a snow drift ; )

The Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 13

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 13

Hey this guy is relatively terrifying! good bird-ish look excellent size difference between Scissor man and victim and his face looks a little like one of those crazy hairy Asian devil masks. And a well starched tail will always get points in my book.

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 15

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 15

Hey those are those terrible spring loaded nail clippers they use on kids aren’t they? I never thought about it, but scaled up they’d essentially be perfect loppers! There’s acertain free-ness and almost insect quality here that’s kinda great!

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 16

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 16

Good combination look, he’s a little bit of leprachuan but with those teef, I’m feeling more than a little bit bit of hill people to, love the excessive “o”s in the caption for realism, now I just wanna know what they are both looking at!

the Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 19

the Great Long Red Legged Scissor Man Entry # 19

There are a lot of really tight pants this week! Very nicely done, that whole the scissor hand looks kinda crabby, but because of that, it looks even better, is cool as hell… And he’s creepy enough that I kinda hope this dude doesnt get a thumb!

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