The Harpy

The Human Headed and Bird Bodied Befouler of the Buffet

So there’s this thing about the old Greek myths where they tend to attribute the same acts to any multitude of heros or gods, and they do it to the point where I no longer care who, and I just want to know what and in this case I wont even bore you with the why’s, I’ll simply tell you this…

Harpies are beasts with:

The hideous head of a woman!

remember one man’s hideous is…well you know…

The body of a bird!

note that no one seems to be telling you what kind of bird, so pretty sure that means, pelicans, penguins, hell pink flamingos are fair game…

They steal food!

and generally right before you get the chance to enjoy it…they’re like a curse… its kinda they’re thing…

What food they don’t steal, they poop on!

What can I say? They’re dicks…

As is the new plan, Winner Gets a Shirt! And I’m judging again, so extra points if you’re new, or have never won or if you’re really bad, or really good, or just make me laugh, or frighten me, or show me the virtues of a finely feathered bird mustache… you get the point just do your worst and lets see where that gets us!

Submissions Are Closed For Judgement!

The Harpy Entry # 2

The First Place Harpy Entry

Haha, so might be time break out the Crocs and the saran wrap cause these two are going to have one hell of a party and I’m guessing you don’t want any on the upholstery! God that especially withered bird boob is great!

Judge’s Commentary – Dammit it’s just great concept! Combine that with the dizzying, drunken selfie point of view and the unique muppet/1980s weight lifter skin coloring, the overt, cross species sexuality and the thickest pair of glasses I’ve seen since my middle school principal and we’ve got a winner!

The Harpy Entry # 7

The Second Place Harpy Entry

Is it just me or is this thing making tiny headed, mussy feathered, sexy bird, come hither eyes at us? Next frame is undoubtedly those cherry stems artfully tied in knots on her tongue… god it’s just me isnt it?… dammit!

Judge’s Commentary – So I’m relatively confident, that the moment I hand judgement back over to the masses, this artist is gonna have a number of wins, so i feel pretty ok handicapping him for talent for a week or so… but it was pretty damn close, had there been even an inkling of poop on that platter, I probably coulda been swayed!

The Harpy Entry # 9

The Third Place Harpy Entry

Oh man there’s a lot to love here! starting with found paper, into the strawberry sized nipples on the seemingly pendulous but collarbone mounted breasts, and given that torrent of rapid fire poop, what I can only imagine is a double barreled anus! Good stuff, And I’m especially entertained with the choice of rendering what appears to be the chairs from Pottery Barn’s “rustic farmhouse collection” in this setting… a very nice first showing!

Judge’s Commentary –
So for third it came down to # 8 and #9 both being from newbies, so we’re even there, Both have about the right feel of free wheeling fun, and a slight leaning toward avoiding direction… which still leaves us about tied so it comes down to who brings more poop to the table, and well, that’s pretty obvious. (btw the world’s largest drumstick didnt hurt either)

The Harpy Entry # 1

The Harpy Entry # 1

See at first I was gonna say it just sorta looked like bird bodied, “Craft” era Nev Campbell, and didn’t think there was enough reference to the the pooping/food stealing; but, if you note that even cartoon wings are rarely that rounded and therefore the next logical course is that those are obviously freshly stolen braunschweigers, hence the look of nervous exhilaration. And that works better for me!

The Harpy Entry # 3

The Harpy Entry # 3

Yes! I’m a big fan of the plucked turkey body and dare to dip, tainted toe, action… but I am slightly concerned at the arrangement of your place setting… in this situation I’m pretty sure the pooped on fruit spoon should be on the far left

The Harpy Entry # 4

The Harpy Entry # 4

Can’t rain all the time, can’t rain all the time, cant rain all the time!!!

The Harpy Entry # 5

The Harpy Entry # 5

So I mean the whole thing is sorta amazing from crimped hair helmet, to adorably starved bird-babies… but my favorite part by far is we’re catching this at exactly the moment of realization that the littlest harpy is about to get a freshly opened eyefull of pure pizza sheen!

The Harpy Entry # 6

The Harpy Entry # 6

Haha! so striking with its horrendous peacock colored visage! And does that damn bird have a fancy lil handbag? or am I just imagining sh*t now?… well and technicaly… I don’t need to imagine that part, as there’s quite the bowl of it there!

The Harpy Entry # 8

The Harpy Entry # 8

“It’s me as a Harpy” – Now sir… I know it’s 2015, and by now, we should all be able to be what we most want to be, but as an outside observer, I feel I’ve got to at least mention that you reeeeaaally look like a Hawkman, and given the size of those talons, one whose got some considerable growing to do…

The Harpy Entry # 10

The Harpy Entry # 10

So the real question is that just a hot dog bun and an overstuffed hummingbird’s tongue or is it a hyperstylized Okeeffe-esque, yet mustard dripping mouth-vulva? The good news is I’ll probably never sleep again, so I’ll have a lot of time to really ponder it!

The Harpy Entry # 11

The Harpy Entry # 11

So First things first, this would look fantastic really over-sized on the side of a van! and Secondly I find it a lot more fun if you read the tail feathers as motion lines and let you mind see him as disinterestedly launched from a catapult!

The Harpy Entry # 12

The Harpy Entry # 12

So while I stand by you should never trust a beast with tiny top teeth, if you give this guy the voice of the over talkative and attention hungry kid from “Up”, it turns out pretty great!

Buy A Mythical Beast Wars Shirt