the Hopkinsville Goblins

Kentucky’s Bug Eyed, Bullet Proof, Bullies From Space

So the tale of the Hopkinsville Goblins has been featured on just about every cryptid show I’ve ever seen on cable. I’m sure it’s partially cause it does a good job of walking the murky border between unknown beast of legend and unknown beast from space. But it’s also got to be partially cause watching a recreation of a bunch of Kentucky hill folk shooting the hell out of their house is insane to comprehend and even more fun to watch!

The tale goes thusly… somewhere round aug 21 1955 (or exactly thereabouts) we find ourselves in rural Kentucky at the homestead of the Sutton/Langford family. A family friend named Billy Ray comes running up to the house claiming to have seen a UFO land behind the farm. As these stories are most usually received even by hill folk, no one believed him and they laughed it off…

Jump forward about an hour later and a glowing silver bodied, bug eyed, wide mouthed, pointy eared and well clawed beast appeared scratching at the front window of the house. At which point, as most normal people would do (don’t worry I know this to be untrue), all the men of the family grabbed their firearms and began blasting the holy hell out of the surrounding area directly through the walls, windows, doors and roof of the house from the inside out. Supposedly this gunfight went on for nearly four hours during which multiple goblins were heard or seen, trying to claw their way into the house seemingly unscathed by the shower of hot lead coming from within.

Eventually the Popo show up, confirm that the house has been shot to bits, investigate the area, find no goblin corpses, space ships or even spare antennae and eventually leave. At which point the family claims the harassment begins anew to the point where they are forced to eventually abandon the home… (some claim they had to leave cause the story brought so many curiosity seekers but Goblins is way more fun)

judgement Is Complete

our judgeOur Judge this week is Mark Albert Hernandez! Mark just finished up a multiple month contract job with me and I can vouch that if any of you need a lil design help, in the prints or the webs, whichever… dude can make short work of some pretty large scale tasks smiling the whole time…. but I’ll let him say it in his own words: “Although I am an occasional pun contributor to twitter for the Comedy Central show “@midnight” and have sometimes been known to produce some serious vocal chops at a local jazz club, I am actually a Visual Communicator with web and print production, marketing, packaging, and material management experience. Having worked with such companies as Coupon Cabin, Plan B Marketing, World’s Finest Chocolate, DePaul University, Playboy and other, I focus on maintaining consistency and creating simple yet premium and professional aesthetics, I have a great attention to detail with the ability to communicate to both clients and team members in a language both can understand. I also specialize in tweaking creatives based on analytics and reporting with the shared goal of increasing revenue and staying true to branding….but really, I’d rather think I’m more funny and more musically inclined than just what is stated above.”

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 5

The First Place Hopkinsville Goblin Entry

Holy hell! That is about the cutest really bad idea I have seen in a while! And since I’ve had a couple of seemingly predestined friends like this, in my mind, even if we were to stop him from testing this armor out, he’d find an equally dangerous idea to try… so let’s hope he just gets winged!

Judge’s Commentary – Simply put, you know it was probably someone who dressed up as some stupid alien or as a prank just to get his or hers point across that people are easily deceived in a funny manner! The use of the aluminum foil for the tiny detail sealed the deal.

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 2


Man this one went from a silly way to explain the bullet proofedness… into a space goblin, superhero, cosplay fast!!! Let this be a lesson to you, give your drawing some responsibilities or it will take that extra energy in whichever direction it feels…

Judge’s Commentary – Good use of explaining how no one couldn’t hit an alien with bullets if the alien themself is Wonder Woman! And it would totally explain the invisible jet…

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 9

The Third Place Hopkinsville Goblin Entry

If there is one thing obvious about space goblins in this picture, it’s that they are definitely equipped with the technology to fuck with some bunnies and super into physique enhancing, scissor made mods to space clothes! …And are those space lampreys? or ears? or neither?

Judge’s Commentary – It was whimsical and creepy but the bunny itself sold me, because in all honesty, what alien wouldn’t be fascinated with a cute fluffy animal that appeared out of nowhere in the woods.

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 1

The Hopkinsville Goblin Entry # 1

Gotta love that the beast with the double elbowed arm seems to be making a resurgence, good use of the rope belt to establish his status in society and how can you go wrong with the old inflatable alien style turnip head?

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 3

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 3

Space goblins, one thing you can say for sure is they know how to rile up some hillbillies! Now there’s no way this artist could have known but the dude making swiss cheese out of his outhouse looks a hell of a lot like our old workplace bud and contributor and many time champ E Wizzle which i also appreciate.

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 4

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 4

Haha this guy looks like he’s approximately 13 seconds before blacking out! maybe thats the blurred background, maybe it’s the slackjawed dribble… but i sorta want him to lay all the way down before he gets hurt… also, are those invisible space claws? Cause if so I’m impressed!

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 6

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 6

“Poor lil fella is sad because he just wanted to phone home, and the mean Hopkinsvillians shot at him. Spacemen have delicate feelings.” – OMG his pants are so good! Plus it makes me want to run around saying ACK ACK ACK… and if you’d ever listened to the lyrics of S.P.O.C.K.’s “ET Phone Home” you would know our artist is right in line with at least what a bunch of new wave swedes think an alien thinks like!

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 7

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 7

You know maybe its’ the hood of the silver biomorph suit being up over his beard that makes this one so creepy… Though I’m imagining he’s just had his hands smashed in a steamer trunk and is slowly backing away trying not to show how much it hurt and that seems to lighten it up some… well that and the beautifully pointed toes!

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 8

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 8

Seriously guys… whats with all the shooting? isn’t it pretty obvious I have a hurty finger and I’m looking for some medical assistance here? I’m also greatly entertained that this one feels a lil less spaceman and a lil more “kentucky special” squirrel turtle hybrid, and that somehow, my dead grandmas awkwardly modern couch made this pic!

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 10

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 10

In the future when quickly rendered pencil sketches take over the packaging industry… this is exactly what a box of gobstoppers will look like… and why the hell do I want this him to have a pencil thin mustache so badly?

Oh and Alternate caption… “I’m Batman”

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