The Kinder-Fresser

I’ve Gotta Bag Full of Kids So Who’s Hungry

Going Old school German boogeyman this week with the Kinder-Fresser or the Child Guzzler! Said beast was a famed German ogre with wild hair and a giant jaw. His mission was simple he’d steal kids, put them in a sack or giant pockets and later he would tear them up and or consume them with abandon! Now beyond that (mostly cause I don’t read German) I know very little so let’s just roll with it. Make him German, make him ogre-y and make him love the hell out of eating kids! Remember, winner gets a mug!

judgement Is Complete

our judgeOur Judge this week was Cody Tilson! Designer, Illustrator and by far the loudest of the original beast crew, and don’t forget very handsome… Remember his word is law!

the KinderFresser Entry # 5

The Kinder Fresser Entry # 5

In my best Robert Downey Jr “Everybody knows, You never go full Hitler!” All that aside he is in hell, the lederhoofen on the girl and the addition of the scream are amazing touches! Entitled Iche libe de hosen in Hell! you can figure that out.

Judge’s Commentary

Ok, 5 wins because I want to see that as the hero image for this week, the little 20’s actress face on the kid is so out of place… hilarious!

The KinderFresser Entry # 6

The Kinder Fresser Entry # 6

Aaahh! That really is a kinda horrific monster, what with his crazy cow skull mouth and those giant boils or moles… And I believe first blood pools of the week! Plus the the Becks can just cracked me up.

Judge’s Commentary

Sausage tail FTW!!!

the KinderFresser Entry # 13

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 13

Ahh! this one took a while to get the giggles to subside, the kinder blend is amazing, and i sorta want to know what the kinder button does. But it’s all the other pieces, the sliced hocks, the cake pan roasting a hand! Nicely played!

Judge’s Commentary

And is that guy throwing himself in the oven? That would be funnier, he blends a kid alive then throws himself in the oven!!!

The KinderFresser Entry # 1

The KinderFresser Entry # 1

Well this guy is downright adorable, I do believe that he’s wearing some lederhosen, so he’s most obviously of Germanic heritage! And I do so love his little hunched child eating shoulders and fur sticking through the straps!

The KinderFresser Entry # 2

Kinder Fresser Entry # 2

Oooh shoosh! You didn’t want to sleep through the night this week anyways, I mean what were you expecting a dude who doesn’t eat kids? … My biggest concern is that he leans a little Russian vs German, but who’s counting.

the KinderFresser Entry # 3

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 4

Such a formal uniform! I like that it’s the worst case scenario of those back of the car family stickers… this way you know the driver in front of you had four adorable little peen shaped children, who were obviously eaten by a Kinder

the KinderFresser Entry # 4

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 4

The Kinder-Fresser is a very loud eater. It’s funny I love chicken wings but I absolutely hate watching people eat them… Almost makes me wonder …

The KinderFresser Entry # 7

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 7

translation What are you lookin at, you stupid cunt? That is a barrel chested beast if I ever did see one! Those are some great skinny ankles and the little discarded baby shoe is a nice touch!

the KinderFresser Entry # 8

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 8

There’s another version of this guy where you can see the kids, if you want to see it click here But I’m a fan of the blacked out Scooby Doo version… it’s sorta got that monster you can’t see thing!

the KinderFresser Entry # 9

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 9

Well that’s downright adorable! I mean those needle like teeth are sinister and all, but he’s got the friendliest wave I’ve seen in a few weeks! And something about the wide set catfish eyes that makes you not mind the kid digesting in his gullet.

the KinderFresser Entry # 10

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 10

Sluuuuuuurp! First rule of Camp KinderFresser, When you frolic in the shallows of Lake Baby’s Blood stay at least a few feet away from the ogre’s giant straw! For some reason I’m incredibly entertained with the inclusion of a back stop!

the KinderFresser Entry #11

the Kinder Fresser Entry #11

om nom nom Ha something about the fork in the Pipi Longstocking head… or wait that better not be Wendy of the famed frosty maker of the same name! Anyway sorta makes me want to sing the “I got a bag full of kids…” song!

the KinderFresser Entry #12

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 12

Oooh!!! High energy lines! Points for reminding me of Merman and obviously a created by a marketer at heart who realizes that starbursts draw the eye like no other assemblage of lines! Plus the frill on the shortshosen made me laugh!

the KinderFresser Entry # 14

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 14

Great stride! And I can’t tell if that’s the kinda brow that always looks mad or if he’s literally stomping off to do something he’s less than excited about… And now I want a number 1 Kinder Fresser Stein!

the KinderFresser Entry # 15

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 15

Yesss! You don’t need all that many lines to be funny! And I’m incredibly entertained with the concept that some jerk kid is still trying to score even though a giant Kinderfresser just walked off with half the sidelines!

the KinderFresser Entry # 16

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 16

Just be glad you’re not riding the elevator with this guy cause you know that would be a horribly crunchy ride, probably little bits of kids settling in his beard! Disgusting! And of course incredibly pleasing to mine eyes!

the KinderFresser Entry # 17

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 17

Mind Blown! Partially for the anglerfish inclusion and partially with the realization that if monsters fished for kids with pretzels I wouldn’t have made it past 4! Points for the fishbrow and how plumply german/wiggam the kid looks!

the KinderFresser Entry # 18

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 18

I don’t know what it means but I’m guessing there’s some serious Krampus style action coming down that chimney! And he kinda reminds me of the taller dude from Home Alone so you know hilarity ensued!

the KinderFresser Entry # 19

the Kinder Fresser Entry # 19

Holy hell the lil suckling pig style roast kid is amazing! And other than his nose bump and horrifying diet I’m gonna say this guy looks downright amicable! And another great pair of suspenderhosen!

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