Illinois Own, Three Toed, Hairy Ass, Mud Covered Beast

So Central Illinois isn’t on my list of favorite places, what with their deep seated racism, their weirdly affected southern accents and their brown drinking water, but hey it’s not fair to fault a beast (or person) for where they are from and I have lots of friends and family from thereabouts to prove that great things can come from mediocre places.

Now let’s set the scene, it’s June 1973 (a full month before even I existed), some folks from Murphysboro are parked near a boat dock along the Big Muddy River, when they are surprised by a seven foot tall white haired bigfoot like beast running from the nearby woods, covered in mud and screaming like a banshee. The police were promptly called, and since it was 1973 its safe to assume many chaws were chewed, mustaches twitched and tight polyester pants hitched, but all that remained was a trail of thick “foul smelling” slime and a bunch of three toed footprints…

A few days later a group of youths working at the local fair spotted a beast with a similar description only with less screaming, more mud, and more staring at a pen full of ponies… and that’s about all we got… did the beast just love ponies was he just hungry? was his initial screaming fit simply because he befowled his flowing blonde locks with river goo? Only you can tell…

I had the opportunity to hang with a good chunk of the original beast drawing crew last eve, including mr cody, ms sneurat and mr ken and we sorta just did a consensus judging, so the comments are gonna be light and transcribed by me, but just know Cody likes things that look like weens or poop, Ken likes things that look like Toxie and Sneu well she’s young unpredictable and won’t be pigeonholed!