The Onocentaur

Half Man, Half Donkey and All Ass!

Sometimes you just gotta appreciate the simplicity of a good two beast hybrid! No reason to always have to draw a million talon clawed legs and giant feathered wings. Sometimes its easier to concentrate on capturing the spirit of your beast with fewer descriptors. So here’s what we’re working with this week:

  • Top half of a human man
  • Bottom half of a donkey or ass
  • The donkey half is covered in gray fur with a white belly
  • The human head is surrounded by thick mane-like hair
  • His soul is torn between that of beast and man
  • Will starve itself to death if captured
  • Occasionally helps Sirens attack sailors

That’s really all you should need! We’re back to our trademark weekly schedule. Winner still gets a shirt. As always, extra points will be given for hilarity, adorability, newness of artist, funny “ass jokes”, jean short and fern inclusion… you get the point… Have fun, make us laugh and be rewarded! And Feel free to include your own caption if you want.

judgement Is Complete

The Onocentaur Entry # 4

The First Place Onocentaur Entry

“More like a oh no centaur i guess…” – Yes! now that’s what I’m talking about! The ol’ switcheroo! It’s funny you wouldn’t think it, but sort of a great example of “the monster unseen…”!

Judge’s Comments – So here’s the way we’re working this, I can’t feasibly have this guy not win and still sleep at night, so to spread the wealth a lil and since I’m pretty sure ITnet will forgive me… I’m giving him the win but bumping the shirt prize to our new never draw in second place. Why am I so positive this guy has to win? Cause every time i think about it I smile! See I’m doing it now!

The Onocentaur Entry # 7

The Second Place Onocentaur Entry

Man I love it when the high powered marketing execs come to play! If you’re curious how i could tell, please note the reinforcement of the “Ass” brand on his t shirt and how relate-able he is with his handful of American favorites like pizza and carrots… though why he has sliced penises on that pie and why the sun is wearing goggles… I’ll never know ๐Ÿ˜‰

Judge’s Comments – Cause he appears to be 70 or so feet tall, obviously has the ability to levitate like a street magician and cause those eyes can see through the end of time! Also cause it’s created by a marketer and since marketers and creatives are natural enemies, her bravery in entering this world try should, in my opinion, be rewarded

The Onocentaur Entry # 11

The Third Place Onocentaur Entry

Man! So I think the big picture concept here is strong enough that I can let it speak for itself and instead wanna focus on the almost spongebob level of infective joy in those arm and leg movements… well and those lil donkey furred moobs, those are great too!

Judge’s Comments – Cause Id watch a cartoon all about this adorable 4legged ween… I mean imagine how funny he’s gonna look when he leans way down for a really aerodynamic run!

The Onocentaur Entry # 1

The Onocentaur Entry # 1

He looks so self satisfied now… but as the years go on you know the fact that with that body he’s never gonna feel the wind in those locks from the T tops of a classic trans am and eventually that’s gonna eat his soul…

The Onocentaur Entry # 2

The Onocentaur Entry # 2

Haha you know I just can’t not see those burro buttocks as testicles! Great mule-y leg hair though and I kinda love that she looks a lil like a scarran (long live farscape!)

The Onocentaur Entry # 3

The Onocentaur Entry # 4

While “it’s all for naught” is way more hopeless and sorta fits on a tattered banner way better… My real favorite Eeyore quote is this (and please read in sad john wayne cadence) “Well that’s a cheerful color… I suppose I’ll have to get used to that…” And to think I played Owl in the grade school play… talk about missed opportunities!

The Onocentaur Entry # 5

The Onocentaur Entry # 5

Right on! Best artily textured white belly fur so far! Funny how over sized pointy equine ears look dopey and almost innocent on a donkey but kinda badass on a furrow browed human. And I love that he’s stashing the smoke behind his arm in that nonchalant way grownups still hide smoking from their parents! (and please pardon my 30 second canvas width extension)

The Onocentaur Entry # 6

The Onocentaur Entry # 6

You know, I think that’s all dependent on what your definition of “worst” is!

The Onocentaur Entry # 8

The Onocentaur Entry # 8

“One of the sites I read said their hooves turn to hands when they need them and that they’re pretty into clubs.” – Haha! Dammit I hate when the lil notes they come with make me laugh before i even see the drawings… Those feathery ass ear/horns on his head piece are brilliant and if it’s fair to say, you shade your armor a like a man who’s maybe painted a pewter miniature or two in his day ๐Ÿ˜‰

The Onocentaur Entry # 9

The Onocentaur Entry # 9

So I’m torn between liking it better as a legless ron jeremy riding a donkey with a hop gated, paulsied front leg (like my 7th grade librarian obviously) or as a legged ron jeremy wearing hoofed gaiters and a donkey shaped cock puppet… either way the english version of the hedgehog has def seen better days!

The Onocentaur Entry # 10

The Onocentaur Entry # 10

According to our artist he’s taking the ol’ wildebeast as model for the Onocentaur myth route… a completely valid path if you consider the coloring and that it was mostly seen in Africa… plus it gives a nice devilish tinge to the human half! Btw that’s dangerously close to what The old Playboy Lawyer would call “presenting”!

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