The Hyper Aggressive, Saw Toothed Roo That Refuses To Be Caged

Whether it be a symptom of mass hysteria, a ghost, a Candarian Demon in animal form, a long lost, out of sorts zoo animal or simply a pet on the lose, The legend of the Phantom Kangaroo has become a worldwide phenomenon. At it’s core the legend is simply this: it’s a kangaroo that appears somewhere that a kangaroo isn’t supposed to be. And at it’s most complex its a predatorialy aggressive saber toothed monster that can teleport its way through solid walls and trade punches with the toughest Chicago cops (really one supposedly came to blows with two cops in a chicago alley in 1974 and escaped!). And refuses to be caged by location, reportedly being spotted from Germany to Japan and a multitude of sightings in the US mostly clustering in the south and midwest…

Now whether you draw an innocent lil joey lost in a snowy Wisconsin wood or a prison hardened boomer just out of a year long stint with a carny…. Know this: They are considerably more aggressive than average kangaroos, including home invasions and charging automobiles… they are said to have large sharp protruding teeth, and occasionally long sharp claws and need I remind you this is a beast taken outside of its element and if you’ve ever seen First Blood, you know how dangerous that can be!

Our Judge this week was Chroma K8, a hair colorist/stylist, small business owner, momma of a toddler, metal head, people lover. I’ve known her husband from chicago bars n shows for, god, probably creeping on forever now, and years ago k8 used to work with steady contributor Lil Katie but now she’s running her own shop on north Lincoln ave! Check it out at www.chromak8.com. In my opinion they are damn fine people!