Old Europe’s Famed Hog-Lady Nobles
You gotta love old Europe, where you could kill a man based on lycanthropy, drown your kid and blame a grindylow and if your neighbor’s lady friend doesn’t come outside all that often… well, its probably because she has the hideous face of a pig.
Now first and foremost, let me me make sure to say that we will be accepting all pig faced persons, no reason the old timey sexism needs to continue, it is the future after all…
Now back to our tale…
Imagine if you will, it’s like 1630 or something, you’re a member of the upper crust… you’ve just recently married or had a baby or having a baby or some life changing event. From what i can tell of Europe back then, most folks are pretty big nosed, inbred and mole-y. So when you get approached by a witch/beggar who offers to make your wife or newborn or whatever appear gorgeous and beautiful to you and hideously ugly to all others or vice versa… Well it seems at least some folks jumped at it… or enough folks were said to have taken the bait that it made for a pretty entertaining and popular legend and reasoning as to why many folks in that era went unseen by the public for long stints of time… (also why they ate exclusively from miniature, sterling silver pig troughs!)
Now here’s the kicker you wouldn’t expect when dealing with a story as sexist and seemingly biased towards beauty as this… It has kind of a heartwarming and modern moral… if the husband/mother (whatever) actually tells the pig-faced person of the spell and let them choose on their own how they wish to be perceived by the outside world, well the curse will be lifted (insert collective awwww)…
Oh yeah and it wouldn’t hurt to know that carnivals back in the day used to put drugged and shaven bears in dresses to approximate these beasts!
Our Judges this week were what I believe is the first successful husband/wife judging team, longtime artists/buds e Smith and Jes. We went out for a bit of a holiday dinner last eve and I was going to get them to judge then… but I got sidetracked with booze and pinball and such, so I thank them for answering my “crap I forgot” morning text and offering up some tag team commentary that made me chuckle hard enough that it may be my new preferred format! Enjoy!
