The Sea Hog

The Salty White Meat

The Sea Hog or Marine Boar, comes from tales of sailors in medieval Europe. Now science back then wasn’t shall we say especially well tested, so the established belief of the time was that from the time of creation there was a matching sea going beast for every creature that roamed the much drier and more properly explored, solid land.

Described as having the scaly body of a huge fish, the front legs of a dragon, and the head and shoulders of a giant pig or wild boar (complete with tusks and tufts of hair). Sometimes they were described as having back legs, sometimes not. What is sure is that they were massive, rotund and as far as pigs go, considered pretty adequate swimmers.

Now some of you more skeptical sorts might pause and say “Giant fish shaped body, weird dragony feet and giant tusks, sounds a whole lot like a walrus to me…” at which point I will again ask you to shut up, and spend more time drawing beasts! This one’s got a pretty easy to ponder shape, and pigs are inherently funny, so let’s break out the aqua marine crayons and see what kind goodnesses you all can piece together!

judgement Is Complete
 
our judgeOur judge this week is Mr Jeff Kenny, creative cohort at my current employer and one half of the team behind WalkJogRun which is a very cool way to map/plan/find your running routes. here’s his official bio from the interweb: Jeff is 1/4 Strategist, 1/4 Psychologist, 1/4 Technologist and 1/4 Designer-ist. His career started in 1995 when he was the co-founder of a successful internet consultancy which was acquired by Duo Consulting in 2001 where he worked as Director of User Experience until 2009. He is now the Creative Director at CouponCabin, Inc and spends his days finding new ways to help people save money.

Extra Judge’s Commentary
Honorable mentions: #5 for straight up talent and #4 because I think I’d make it cry if I didn’t mention it.

The Sea Hog Entry # 13

The Sea Hog Entry # 13

Gotta love the ambient music call out, I mean if there were ever a suitable place for it, the ocean deep, what with it’s plentiful sidebutted, positive thinking and Blue Onion pattern tailed Sea Hogs would be it. The ocean waves and sky make for a very nice stage curtain frame of teh content as well…. but what the hell is that spider webed vortex on the left? Is that a famed tattooed barnacle?

Judge’s Commentary

Two words – “side butt”. I’m not sure if this is a sea hog or something you’d find in a pond next to Chernobyl, but it’s pretty awesome.

The Sea Hog Entry # 2

The Sea Hog Entry # 2

Look at those wall eyes! I bet you want to think dumb inbred pig, but there are lots of predators in the sea, many of whom I would assume love sea bacon and that gap between his peepers has probably saved him more than once… I mean he’s gotta be kinda old already check out that tusk development! … and how’s that even work sea mammals have to have nipples right? but do they have to be yellow?

Judge’s Commentary

The face is horrifying and would look amazing mounted on my wall. The tail looks like uncooked bacon – and who doesn’t love bacon. I’ll tell you who, vegans. And they’re wrong.

The Sea Hog Entry # 11

The Sea Hog Entry # 11

Hahaha now that’s a hog! Now does he have the softest chin ever so his mouth runs straight into his chest or does he actually have nipples on his chin? Great pube/scale texturing and how cool is it that his front fins could double as the part end of a Sea Hog mullet upon first glance!

Judge’s Commentary

Nipples and a pompadour. Nipples are arguably the most important part of a hog and the pompadour makes it look like he should be riding a hog. Well done.

The Sea Hog Entry # 1

The Sea Hog Entry # 1

Ha! a pink puffer hog! At first I hated those back legs but give it a second they are almost perfect in the way they balance the mass, interesting placement of that bottom spine… and are those sea hog fart bubbles? I wanted to adjust the shading on that mouth, but thought better of it just in case it’s supposed to be a downward facing eyeball or some odd squid vent!

The Sea Hog Entry # 3

The Sea Hog Entry # 3

So I’m not entirely sure this isn’t a sea dog trying to double as a Sea Hog…but I’ll let it pass (it’s the genitalia that gives it away, everyone knows pigs have curly-Q weens)… My favorite part by far is the teeth curved to let prey slide off easily and escape, second favorite is the hairs betwixt the tail fins.

The Sea Hog Entry # 4

The Sea Hog Entry # 4

I might just go downstairs and claim my mug from the box now! Can you imagine how delicious he would be fried to a golden crisp? Especially if you work on the “poppler principle” of cuteness equating to flavor.

The Sea Hog Entry # 5

The Sea Hog Entry # 5

Oh so vividly plump, and naturally brined too! those floppy mantis arms are kinda freaking me out but his manly barrel chest and adorable lil head even it all out. Plus I’m a fan the media mix, color without being colored a halo to pop it and a good variety of textures for those of us who like our drawings to seem “rubby”.

The Sea Hog Entry # 6

The Sea Hog Entry # 6

Why hello my multiple armed sea faring and swinely friend! Our artist has rightfully coined it a “Hogtopus” and it’s pretty great, I mean I’m kind of a sucker for tentacles anyways (get it?), but top it of with a delicious pig and magical things happen! Kind of a nice Egyptian hieroglyph feel with the black bodied swine as well!

The Sea Hog Entry # 7

The Sea Hog Entry # 7

So first I Thought it was like a cute “See Spot… reference” then perhaps a joyful Sea Hog training ground, but the more I inspect the more it seems a portrait of ostracization and pain. Obviously these land hogs have no legend of a red nosed reindeer guiding their moral compass. Speaking of pain is that one of those slanted sun collecting pieces of reflective sheet metal that hasn’t been seen on an american playground in 20 years?

The Sea Hog Entry # 8

The Sea Hog Entry # 8

Quoting the artist “Somehow I forgot arms or side fins. Oops! Maybe the nicotine helps him swim? Or maybe he swims like shit…” See I was thinking the body style from entry # 1 had already become the norm. I love the polka dots, that tail is kind of brilliantly finned and if you tilt your head he kinda looks like he’s trying to poop.

The Sea Hog Entry # 9

The Sea Hog Entry # 9

Well I go two ways with this one, either its that adorable “when i grow up I wanna be a Sea Hog moment in every little pigs young years, or we could roll with a hopeless feeling of loss beyond our control and those upward glancing eyes are cursing the gods that have allowed his swimmin hole to be reduced to a mere puddle. Huge fan of the length of those arms and that overhanging belly covering the board shorts tie makes me smile… Also I squared you up some, hope you don’t mind.

The Sea Hog Entry # 10

The Sea Hog Entry # 10

Sweet a Miss Sea Piggy! she’s got a little Ariel and and a hole lotta full bellied swine! I’m especially fond of the hyper realistic frowny belly button mouth fold, her plentiful side boob and how she sits in her fishy bottom like trading places era Eddie Murphy on his no legs scooter. Also… props for the old timey palette, I love when you kids play along!

The Sea Hog Entry # 12

The Sea Hog Entry # 12

So assuming that there was such a thing as a sea parsnip and sea parsnips had available to them at halloween time giant wax lips and snouts available to them to appear as much more threatening beasts, this is exactly what it would look like. But that doesn’t explain those adorable useless lil hooved legs!

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