The Cat Who Smashes Trees With it’s Face!

If I know one thing about early american settlers, it’s that they love associating sharp nouns with the word “cat”… We’ve already done cactus cat, so what do you say we tackle his honey crazed forest bound cousin!

Now the doubtful and unfun amongst you may claim that the Splinter Cat is just a fictional Lumberjackstafarian explanation for the crazy shattered dead fall trees you’ll see whilst wandering in the forest… but if you would, just for a second, stop having to know everything and perhaps enjoy a story… Cause it starts in the deep dark American woods east of the Mississippi and continues to pan from the great lakes down to the gulf… let your focus zoom in on a single moss covered tree. It’s slightly softened with age and alive with the buzz of what must be a million bees writhing under a common goal within it’s hollowed core… The Blammo! the trunk of the tree explodes in a rain of splinters, moss, honey and bee guts. The canopy shudders as the top of the tree tumbles into its neighbors snapping and cracking and dragging all withing reach down with it… And standing where the base of this mighty tree once was lapping honey off it’s face, with a satisfied cheshire grin, is this week’s hero, the bobcat sized and bulbous headed Splinter Cat.

Now technically this beast was almost never seen, so beyond the fact that it’s a wildcat with a head and frame strong enough to shatter a rotted out tree to get to its contents (be they, bee, squirrel or baby racoons)… the rest is kind of up to you… make ’em spotted, striped, plaid… make em big, make em small, give em beaver teeth or tusks… just make em! Now we’ve had a few great weeks of garnering new artists so know I will often smile upon newbies at judgment so let’s keep em coming…