Everything You Need to Draw 2016’s version of the Turkey!

the turkey page topper

the turkey page topper

2016’s Edition of Our Annual Festive Feathered Fowl Scrawl

Gobble Freaking Gobble! It’s that time again! Time to share your thankfulness that other beast drawers exist, by making stupid drawings of birds and sending em in so we can share with everyone!

Here’s the deal, everyone can draw a turkey… and if you can’t, trace your hand, if you don’t have a hand, have your friend trace theirs, if you don’t have… well we’re getting off track, and a lil sad… but the point is, you can probably piece together a silly bird… So that’s what we ask you do!

I pondered a theme for this one, like Post Apocalyptic Turkey, Turkeys with “Rage”, Turkeys in Space etc… but its always more interesting to let you stumble on the dusty corners of your psyche on your own, and hell, with the current emotional state of some of us, I bet drawing a Care Bear style “Hugs-a-Lot” turkey might feel really nice. Do what you need, I’m not going to judge (get it? cause turkey drawings can’t be judged, only appreciated! It’s the magic of the beast!)…

So spread the word, get your friends drunk/or somethin, and make them draw, convince your whole family to draw while you wait for the holiday meal, or if you wanna be evil, wait til later, when they are sleepy, full, and incapable of resistance! We just ask that you have fun with it, cause when you have fun drawing, we have fun admiring!

Here’s some descriptors to work with, feel free to use, exaggerate or completely ignore:

  • It’s a large bird that’s been bred to be abnormally plump and busty
  • Famed for being “Moist” (while unimportant, i know lots of folks who hate that word, so had to)
  • Has a long red fleshy ornament (called a snood) that grows from the forehead over the bill
  • Has a fleshy kinda sea creature looking wattle growing from its throat
  • Has some crazy long feathers sticking from it’s chest (called a beard)
  • Possess seemingly randomly placed spikes about its body, sorta like Conan’s varied pit fighting armor… only on a bird and without the underlying armor part
  • Can run crazy fast for a top heavy, fat bird, full of goo
  • It eats seeds, insects, and an occasional frog, lizard or…?
    •  
      Remember turkeys won’t be judged, so no official prizes, but you can walk away knowing you’ve made a lot of us smile, laugh out loud, gasp in horror or slowly back away shaking our heads in amazement! So get to it, and know that I offer my thanks to you drawers, cause week after week, year after year, you make life a lil more fun and I couldn’t do this without you!

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The Turkey (2016) Entry # 1

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 1

Yes! starting off with the blue dress/gold dress of turkey drawings! A beautifully colored close up of our protaganist, or is it a fiery hellscape overlooked by and angry cyclopean moon! I mean, I know its the first, but kinda fun that the later works too!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 2

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 2

Yesss… taking a very famous trademark in a much darker direction! No one ever promised that holiday gatherings are all fun in games!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 3

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 3

Oh my lord! Those eyes! Those giant adorable eyes! This is why I can’t have kids, I’d never be able to say “no” to eyes like that!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 4

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 4

Every year someone burns down their garage frying a bird… and every year… someone doesn’t take the time to learn to say the “oven words” right…

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 5

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 5

How’s that old country saying go? One man’s pet turkey is another’s prize hog? And if this starts a downward trend, ending with me talking to a personafied butthole that’s grown from my keyboard, I’m going to be pissed!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 6

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 6

I have to say there’s few things like sticking a trick first try…and I know it’s not my place to tell you how to skate, but… you’re never going to get that really satisfying grind sound with only the weight of bird bones behind you, think to your advantages, small and light, and winged… you’re a ramp guy for sure!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 7

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 7

1000% the freeze frame at the start of a remarkably festive dance number… now i just wanna know if all the extras will be dressed as elves or birds or elves wearing bird feathers… my lord! the possibilities!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 8

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 8

Man that is a sweet turkey pinata… And I’m getting enough lil soft memories that I’m not sure that I haven’t helped make one of these at some point… though i have to say it sorta highlights one of the most painful aspects of adulthood… no one ever has construction paper!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 9

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 9

“Here’s my turkey which came out looking far more seductive than I’d hoped for.” – haha you know, sometimes I just love you guys… especially the fact that, if you read between the lines, you had hoped that it was, at least somewhat, seductive! Which, I mean, she is!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 10

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 10

Aawwww! It’s like it’s already softly fading from our realm… Sadly lil turkey, we’ve most recently learned that the world isn’t reading protest signs anymore… perhaps you’d do better with a t-shirt cannon? or a really large belt buckle? Regardless… I wish you luck!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 11

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 11

Sometimes I just like to turn these into fake album covers in my head… I imagine this would work quite well for the War Turkey’s first single “Broasted by Fire”… also maybe I should watch “the Wall” again this weekend?

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 12

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 12

One of my favorite things about turkeys and alligators is as out of character it seems, how stupid fast they are in a blind run! This one’s legs have damn near entered hyperspace! Beautiful plumage btw!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 13

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 13

You know… that’s genius! And I almost missed it!!! I had some bad red riding hood style “what long feathers you have…” comment going and then i actually looked!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 14

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 14

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears…. πŸ˜‰

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 15

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 15

Hey I know this one! It’s the end of my life I look back and you think I’d be surprised to only see turkey footprints in the sand, but all the cool kids ride invisible turkeys through life!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 16

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 16

Old crazy eyes! Always howling at the moon and pooping golden eggs! God look at those lil pre-fried wings… It’s almost like he’s in the middle of some kinda weird rarely spoken of, bird themed, dance…

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 17

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 17

Sooooo much missing backstory here! It’s like waking up on the kitchen floor… I mean there’s always a possibility nothing went wrong… but the odds are most definitely working against you….

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 18

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 18

This is 100% the turkey shaped hole in your heart since yesterday… I am slightly confused by the rows upon rows of toadstools in the foreground… but lets be honest, I spend a lot of time slightly confused regardless of this drawing πŸ˜‰

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 19

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 19

Gah! That lil tower of off kilter yet perfectly balanced poults is so close to aggravatingly adorable I’m still not sure I’m not mad at it… Nice smoothly hooped bill btw!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 20

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 20

Yes! While I will always say a festive text like that could use an eggplant as well (just in case), the sentiment is graciously received and sent right back at you!

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 21

The Turkey (2016) Entry # 21

Oh what fine rounded hatchwork you have mr turkey and dammit if that’s not my favorite type of comb… the one that looks like a waded up latex glove parked on your head… and might I remind you that the only person you’re really hurting with your attitude towards the holidays, is yourself!