The Flying Heads Entry # 15

The Flying Heads Entry # 15

Man do folks still “brand ” their varietals of acid? cause if so, you may have just created one that will stick! Such a good combo of startling awareness, understanding and horror! Also I’m not entirely sure its left ear isn’t melting off… or maybe that’s just a flashback…

The Flying Heads Entry # 6

The Flying Heads Entry # 6

“Sally quickly realized that she should have trusted the wise old Carny, and chosen any prize other than the giant balloons.” – Yeah I’m pretty sure the rule is you can trust a carny about what not to do in the present, just don’t trust them as say a life coach! God I love her hands and how many strings there are here!

The Pig-Faced Women Entry # 10

The First Place PIg Faced Women Entry

Man this lil F’er is cute! Something about the way they fancylass collar and sleeves fit a bit too snuggly to her piggy face and she stands with such an enormous amount of lil pig pride, mixed with just the right amount of wonderment…

Judge’s Commentary
E: We’ve been listening to a lot of Vince Guaraldi and this is just a really nice Pig-face woman accompaniment to “Christmas Time is Here.”
J: Those were my thoughts exactly – a Charlie Brown Christmas is what it makes me think of, and the pig-face woman even has a Charlie Brown head.

The Turkey Entry # 25

The Turkey 2014 Entry # 25

You unlock this door with the key of imagination… Beyond it is another dimension… I’ll always love those old twilight zone intros and dammit if this wouldn’t be a fine shirt to wear to turkeytime festivities!

The Hidebehind Entry # 9

The Second Place Hidebehind Entry

So while noting that the whistling butthole mouth and vertically shaded beard both make me extensively happy, I gotta say that either the Hidebehind has a seriously off focus eye or he is reeeeeaaally pissed at that tree for being there!

Judge’s Commentary – Mary Alice said something about the shortest time spent drawing a beast ever, so maybe I’m just proving a point here that good beast doesnt always take all week to draw… or maybe my point is it only takes half a beast and someone naively whistling their way down a trail cause dammit if it doesnt just work!

The Mantygre Entry # 14

The Third Place Mantygre Entry

Dammit I love when they’re open mouthed! It opens up so many plot opportunities… like maybe he’s just sloth-like yelling “Hey you guys!” out over the abyss? or maybe as his beard suggests he’s midway through his people’s signature phrase of “snarf”? Also, those eyes is creepy!

Judge’s Commentary – This Mantygre seems to be enjoying himself more then most, which I appreciate. The open maw and wide eyed enthusiasm for whatever perch he seems to be clinging too, made me instantly chuckle. And again, with the “friend beard, ” which seemed to sway my judgement this week. Also, a little bit, the first thing I thought of when I looked at this submission was, “what’s this mancat digging his claws into?” And being somewhat familiar with the habits of most common housecats and there owners, I inevitably imagined that it had attached itself lovingly to the head of it’s human doppleganger. And when my mind wanders that much from one drawing, you’d better believe that you’re going to rank as one of my top three picks!

The Fur-Bearing Trout Entry # 1

The Fur Bearing Trout Entry # 1

So our artist used the phrase “Behold! The majestic fur-bearing trout in all his pubetastic glory!” and honestly I dont think i’m gonna top that so behold damn you! Behold and savor! And dammit that’s a good beard!

The Baba Yaga Entry # 11

The Second Place Baba Yaga Entry

You know i think it’s the architectural aspects of this I like the best, I mean the balance of that hut on that drumstick of a beam is pretty amazing, and how often do you see a witches skull fence assembled so precisely, usually they are just a terrible assortment of jutting arms and silent screams… and while i could continue to expound on the structures, let’s be honest… the fact that her jet broom seems to be up her butt is pretty funny too!

Judge’s Commentary – Thank Gorbachev I never tried to ding dong ditch at this house. Even If I got past the bone strewn entrance & managed not to go spelunking in that Baba Yagas pitch black fang hut, Im not in the best of shape to climb up a giant chicken leg(way too much beer). Also you’d never catch me getting into a staring contest with those eyes. Great job on including all the characteristics of the Baba Yaga!

The Phantom Kanagroo Entry # 7

The Phantom Kanagroo Entry # 7

“Not only did the teleporter company send poor Mabel to Dayton instead of Daytona for spring break, but they also lost her luggage. She proceeded to get sh*thammered on long islands, and fight anyone within striking distance.” – yesss!!! But watch out for the famed long island stingrays lil ‘roo!

The Pope’s Donkey Entry # 6

The Popes Donkey Entry # 6

You know I feel I shoulda seen this coming… I was expecting like a giant butt face ala assy mcgee or whatever that show was but the singularity style rectum as mouth got me! Pretty much all the faces here make me smile! Feels oddly Donny Darko bunnyish and great use of a horned owl!

The Cockatrice Entry # 8

The Second Place Cockatrice Entry

If someone wants to make a hack of the old Trogdor game that looks just like this I am relatively confident, that I would “burninate” weasels for easily a few hours… f’ing adorable weasels!

Judge’s Commentary – this guy is a total badass. That weasel is pleased as punch to die a fiery death at the hands of this boss. Also, diggin’ the colors and the spiky, ninja-star looking wings.

The Nagumwasuck Entry # 5

The Nagumwasuk Entry # 5

Haha! This one actually came with an apology for the level of ugly included within which i thoroughly appreciate! You gotta admit he’s pretty hideous and he’s got the sad swollen nips of a minotaur!… As a side note, if any of you watched Farscape, he looks a lil like a tiny Scorpius sans his proto-bondage gear!

The Pollo Malingo Entry # 4

The Pollo Malingo Entry # 4

Yes! Naked carnage! Lil known and occasionally drawn theory about Pollo Maligno, that he has one long ass chicken leg for ripping off heads and one short stocky leg for all powerful ass stomping! And you know… if it weren’t for the blood spilling, death dealing fowl, this one paints Columbia as kinda pretty.

The Giant Freshwater Octopus Entry # 4

The Giant Freshwater Octopus Entry # 4

Hells yeah the Hulkster! And in old timey atire! You gotta wonder if our protagonist this week has ever faced 24 inch pythons before or for that matter, the force of a million lil hulkamaniacs? Great crazy eyes btw!

The White Worm Entry # 3

The Second Place White Worm Entry

Oh hell yes! So not only am I entertained and intrigued by the potential in the technique, but I’m pretty damn happy that the assorted motley crew of said plundered or soon to be plundered ship includes a snowman… He just makes everything more festive!

Judge’s Commentary – Well facebook votes were the judge so we’ve got none… so ‘ll just pretend… cause cutting sh*t out is cool!

The Peryton Entry # 6

The Peryton Entry # 6

Yes! So regal! Rumor has it this was drawn with a magical gifted pencil, you can sorta tell no? I’m a big fan of the Flash Gordon era Hawk People wings and that slight, almost feline, look of disdain!

The Tauret Entry # 8

The Third Place Tauret Entry

Why do I suddenly want Raisin Bran Crunch so bad? and to make babies! ha! God those big dumb Stympy eyes. I like that with a lil tweaking it could make a great/bad 90s style tribal tattoo, and I love that she looks a lil like she’s pooping!

Judge’s Commentary – Super torn between this and number two this week, but since i seem to be alternating between happy and sad, and this one includes the happy cool-daddy sun as crotch sensor, this one gets the nod… plus I’m pretty sure it’s eyes are eating my soul!

The Sewer Alligator Entry # 10

The Second Place Sewer Alligator Entry

“The fancy mustache is there to indicate that he’s a rare Parisienne sewer gator.” – Just so you know I would have known he was a fancy Parisienne gator without the glorious ‘stache, but I will also be the first to tell you that i think it certainly adds a certain pinache… though i swear that toilet handle has made me think its the stay puffed man’s hat like three times

Judge’s Commentary – Cause while he’s French, he still reminds me of Chef Boyardee! And dammit if a young me didnt love some Beefaroni! Also for the extremely long toof filled snout!

The Splinter Cat Entry # 8

The Third Place Splinter Cat Entry

“hiiiii yah!” – Hahaha it’s not that often that we get a Hong Kong Fooey reference! and dammit if this pose didnt make me spit my drink a lil… I mean, I don’t officially know karate, but I’m relatively sure every one of his limbs is in the wrong position for this strike, his gaze looks a lil like a hypnotized chicken and that all makes it soooo much better!

Judge’s Commentary – So seriously I look at it to try and think of a reason I can write, and i chuckle… every f*ing time… I chuckle… so that’s why!

The Dark Lord Entry # 10

The Dark Lord Entry # 10

Hey it’s like the chubbier, pig nosed, and more pimple prone version of the horned beasts from the old Monster Magnet covers! Technically, though, while humorous, I bet those are less glowing pimples and more like lava spewing hell craters from the dark planet eeeeeevil! Great circle of sixes for eyes btw, cause you wouldn’t want to undersell your darklordiness ;)!

The Bridge Troll Entry # 7

The Third Place Bridge Troll Entry

I mean really, can anything that reminds me of the scene in Labyrinth where Ludo sadly sits on the edge of the Bog of Eternal Stench just smelling smells be anything but great? And is that a bib or does he have some turkey style red hangy throat scrotum? Alls I know is that I will indeed, gladly shake that trolly hand sir!

Judge’s Commentary – So right off the bat, points for asymmetry, then it gets the abnormally large bicep points, but finally, this one hits especially close to home as all of those sharp and eye pokey teef and horns are remarkably reminiscent of my giant eyed pug chewing on a curled and pointy rawhide… so many points of potential eye poking, yet so much abandon!

The Mock Turtle Entry # 9

The Mock Turtle Entry # 9

Noooo! Mr cow turtle nooooo! But then again, I’ve had me some turtles in my time and while adorable, they may not be the famed methodical decision makers legend makes them out to be… So sometimes you just have to let nature take its course… Great satyry gams on this one btw!

The Krasue Entry # 7

The Krasue Entry # 7

“You wouldnt believe it but I just FIVE babies… yep FIVE!” haha God I love the forward facing eyeball placed sideways schtick! An impressive headdress and great, proboscis like, eating baby from womb tongue… And I love that when you work a lil “blue” you actually color it blue!

The Axe Handle Hound Entry # 11

The Axe Handle Hound Entry # 11

Ha! so my only real complaint here is I’m not sure the upper midwest is known for it’s swiss alp style mountain sided goat farms, but that aside, the werewolf cat style hair and sheer quantity of axe hounds more than makes up for any inaccuracies, and dammit that one facing front is cute!

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 6

The Hopkinsville Goblins Entry # 6

“Poor lil fella is sad because he just wanted to phone home, and the mean Hopkinsvillians shot at him. Spacemen have delicate feelings.” – OMG his pants are so good! Plus it makes me want to run around saying ACK ACK ACK… and if you’d ever listened to the lyrics of S.P.O.C.K.’s “ET Phone Home” you would know our artist is right in line with at least what a bunch of new wave swedes think an alien thinks like!

The Lil Owl Entry # 16

The Lil Owl Entry # 16

So A. it came with a note saying that it was supposed to be a tough scary owl to match our artists holiday mood, so no matter what your initial reaction was, please receive it as requested ; ) and B. God damn does this look like a very excited seagull in Hawkman’s costume from the old Buck Roger’s! Beedabedabeep….

The Leshy Entry # 5

The Second Place Leshy Entry

Oh man he looks like he’s about to smurf the hell out of someone with that club! Or maybe that’s just the stern look of someone trying to make you forget that they are standing there in their undies! Always a fan of the cloven hoof, his Dimebag beard is kinda cracking me up and if that bear looked anymore like he was humping that tree, he’s actually have to be humping that tree!

Judge’s Commentary
– In my honest judgment, this odd pairing, between the Leshy and its sworn forest enemy, the bear, highlights the elusive contrast between good and evil. The careful placement of the bear’s left arm creates a sense of mystery, which, connected by the invisible eye-line of the Leshy’s gaze, creates a wonderful illusion of emotion and empathy. Its sexy too, the way bears are sexier when they are being hunted by the Leshy. A beast has gotta eat. The crayon strokes are nice too.

The Wendigo Entry # 8

The Wendigo Entry # 8

You know other than the fact that she’s still got some pretty plump and unfrozen lips, this one feels pretty damn Wendigo… well Wendigo with a little bit of Hypnotoad mixed in for good measure. I’m a fan of how the ribs on her left side seem to have withered along with her boob!

The Gumberoo Entry # 7

The Gumberoo Entry # 7

So I’m not entirely sure cause those could just be the kinda eyes John from Garfield has… but I have a wide eyed pug here at casa de beast and dammit if this doesnt read as pensive as hell! A whole forest full of dangers and this poor guy ends up holding the “I’m Explosive” card… never a fun spot to be.

The Cyclops Entry # 13

The Cyclops Entry # 13

“One-Eyed-Willy, at your service!” Ha! you know I’m relatively confident I’ve seen our judge in an at least similar shirt! and its a lil hard to judge character what with no facial features other than an eye, but with his friendly wave I’m feeling more fashionable cyclops vs pimp… but both work especially with the peacock frilled neckerchief!

The Cyclops Entry # 12

The Cyclops Entry # 12

Hey it’s like a really sad alien, crossed with a peacock feather, crossed with one of my high school girlfriends, crossed with john waters… all wearing a fake nose! Unless that’s not a pencil thin mustache, if that’s the case you can lose the john waters… And god damn do i love lil tiny arms and bodies!

The Christmas Elf Entry # 15

The Third Place Christmas ElfEntry

So here’s how broken I am… this one came with a note apologizing for how dark it was, so I opened it up and thought, “heck i wouldn’t have even mentioned that, a lil tweak of the levels and it will be just fine!”… never once thinking the darkness was in reference to the sweet elf metal content of the pic!

Judge’s Commentary – Two schools of thought here, one being that you cant spell Santa without Satan… which while entirely untrue when phrased that way, is still fun to say… the second being that our illustrious host (that’s me) has posted this one upside down confusing the message and if you look at it right side up it shows the most lovingnest of happy holiday hugs!

The Skunk Ape Entry # 2

The Second Place Skunk Ape Entry

“The skunk ape is a born entertainer, skilled in cat juggling!” – you know this one actually does a really nice job at being gross. Those feet is good and I like his missing toofess.

Judge’s Commentary – I love the goofy face, and the poo-party the squatch seems to be glorifying in. Like a pig in shit. Or a squatch in shit. I love the missing tooth too.

2013 Turkey – Submission # 16

2013 Turkey – Submission # 16

10 points for the dad joke! (11 points if you count that the caption is in cloud-like bubbles and potentially coming from behind his tailfeathers) And one of the better things about birds and their giant eyes is that I have almost no idea if he/she is happy, startled or terrified that a xenomorph is about to burst from it’s belly!

2013 Turkey – Submission # 12

2013 Turkey – Submission # 12

My favorite thing about this one is how many mysteries it begins! I mean is that turkey really as long as at least half of a table? Or is that just a small table? Is our mismatched arm having knicker clad pilgrim defending invisible diners from backstroking ghost birds? or does he have nothing to do with said cannon beyond proximity and that’s not a burnt match and is instead a magic mushroom in his hand… i could go on… but i wont ; )

The Mother of all Cows Entry # 6

The Kamadhenu Entry # 6

You know when a bunch of us still worked for the girly mags, it was a hotly contested subject as to whether milk pouring over a girl ever worked… now replace the standard nude girl with a magical, part human, part cow, part bird hybrid with thighs that could crush stones to dust and I don’t think you can ever question its sexiness!

the Drop Bear Entry # 7

the First Place Drop Bear Entry

I’m kinda guessing that what with the bifurcated ween, the spiraled eyes and the tab of acid, this one is coming from the same artist as # 5 and honestly I may find the parachute trip down to farmland even funnier! though if you’ve ever watched Thunderdome you’d know the only thing they farm in australia is pigs for smash up derby fuel!

Judge’s Commentary just looks like a good time, so hey, he’s my number 1!

the Drop Bear Entry # 5

the Drop Bear Entry # 5

This came with the following text that while potentially the fault of my condition at the time may have set me giggling for a solid 2 minutes – When looking up koala porn, I discovered that koalas have bifurcated penises. Fancy! I felt like a drop bear would certainly drop acid.

The Gougou Entry # 10

The First Place Gougou Entry

So first and foremost, everyone knows real kraken holes are waaaay bigger than that, but that misstep aside, there is a lot of great going on here, I mean that Gorton’s dressed boatman is in fact investigating her hand with a magnifying glass no? The treble hooked paper boat earring and maple leaf belly chain are great and the boob crammed with snacks especially the dolphin is still making me chuckle… but what the hell is emblazened on that boob? Two Gumbies and a volcano?

Judge’s Commentary – What a purty lookin’ Gou Gou…the bra filled with midnight snack fishermen killed me.

the Merman Entry # 19

the Merman Entry # 19

Sometimes the world is just gonna try its best to keep you from having time to draw a beast, but in turn, sometimes, it just gives you those perfect windows that you need to learn to recognize… housewarming party+ Octopus Chalkboard + Merman = Bingo!