The Tommyknockers

Miners Tend to Be a Very Superstitious Bunch

Maybe it’s the lack of sunlight or oxygen, maybe it’s the fact that a poorly placed pick axe can occasionally drop the mountain above on your head or maybe it’s that fact that they have to share their domain with diminutive imps who’s general day to day consists of pranks, thievery and mischief.

Sure, you say, “but don’t these “Knockers” get their names from the loud noises heard throughout a mine minutes before a cave in? Aren’t they in fact a blessing to the miners?” In response to that I think I’ll just say that i believe you are undervaluing how important a lunchtime sandwich is to a hardworking miner. And to find that or any of your tools mysteriously missing or similarly tampered with… well I think you could agree it’s at least aggravating!

Where these lil guys come from is the most open ended aspect of this legend. Ghosts of miners past? sure there’s a chance of that… Gnomes or dwarves who’s subterranean lairs are impeded on by the mines… well that’s always a possibility… hell the Cornish miners of old went as far as to say they were those responsible for crucifying christ and serving their penance below ground… Generally I like to think, that much like the obscene variety of english house spirits, there’s room for many varietals and just as many explanations which brings us to you, your ability to doodle funny beasts and our list of descriptors for battle TommyKnocker which are as follows:

• Generally human in shape, arms, legs, torso etc
• Small squat and powerful, but not stocky enough to be considered malformed
• Said to be dressed in standard if not old timey and diminutive miners garb
• We’ve all seen pictures of miners, safe to assume they are dirty and bearded
• Obviously fans of lunch foods from the world above and pranks

I mean I wish I could escape the combo of that aggressively presented T square and those sexy sexy shorts… but it’s just not happening… As for number two, I gotta say I feel I can taste a lil more raw artists’ brain when digesting this without the trademark color… Please don’t change for my tastes but I kinda like you in “Stooges” mode! And as for three I cant promise to recognize the biggest sandwich of the bunch and not right? Plus I like that I’m incapable of reading that as “Mine” it’s always Mike, or Mice or something less sensical!

• The TommyKnockers Entry # 1 So first and foremost the flower pot hardhat and the suspenders both struck me as equally funny today… not like both aren’t perfectly functional devices in at least, a mostly make believe, world… But if he’s in fact diminutive, he’s stolen either stolen one tiny ass egg salad sandwich ...
• The TommyKnockers Entry # 2 So huge fan of any beast wearing the first letter of its type on its clothing… makes recognizing the difference in a murderous Red Cap and a Knocker much easier at a safe distance… And skipping over the fact that this is potentially the richest mine of all time, that ...
• The Tommyknockers Entry # 3 If there’s one thing that’s true in both old timey mining and comically giant sandwiches… it’s that clothes just get in the way.
• The Tommyknockers Entry # 4 Man look at the realism in the drape of that henley! And I think I find it even funnier to pretend he’s not fleeing a crime but is in fact proposing marraige with promise of a fresh miners lunch in place of the shiny rocks!
• The Tommyknockers Entry # 5 “he’s simplifying the process” – That right there is some solid murder scrawl! And the kinda outside the box thinking that people write linked in posts about 😉 I wonder though… does the name “Johnny Knockers” elicit just enough curiosity from a lonely miner that he still has to “come ...
• The Tommyknockers Entry # 6 You know I’m not sure if this is a miner, a Knocker or a homeless man in lederhosen and a belly shirt accessorized with a t square, but I know I like it!
• The Tommyknockers Entry # 7 Now a lil bit I’m going to guess with the 8 bit-ed-ness, that this is a Minecraft reference, but since I know next to nothing about that subject I’ll just ask “why so angry mr robot?”
• The Tommyknockers Entry # 8 Hey I said make some big F’ing sandwiches! And if you’re an undernourished diminutive mine dweller, that right there is one hell of a dagwood… though if I’m being picky… seems like it could use a crustier bread 😉